July 10, 2015

Aloneness and Loneliness

eyeMany of us realize the imminent need for social connection and community. We are a part of different groups and nurture various relationships, because that sense of connectedness brings us peace, joy and love. The importance of social connection should be stressed particularly in this age, where most of our interaction happens through technology: email, cell phones, social media. I would estimate that most of us connect to people via technology versus in person at least 75% of the time. Most of us definitely have virtual friends. Blocking off an afternoon for tea or a walk, eating a communal meal, hugging each other are things that technology cannot match with fulfillment level like these one on one connections.

Is this discrepancy the reason for rising rates of loneliness and isolation, sickness and suicide? Studies show over and over that individuals who experience deep levels of social connection increase longevity, disease resistance and happiness. Studies have proven that lonely people experience earlier death than those who have diabetes, smoke or deal with obesity. I’m quite sure that many other ailments like heart disease and depression are greatly interrelated with social isolation as well.

Many of us might be challenged with finding deeper and more meaningful ways to connect with society. Competition is rampant, judgment, separation and gossip tear away at our heart connection to ourselves and to others and selfishness and ego challenge even the most spiritually aware individuals. We are indeed human. I bring this topic up because as we evolve fully into oneness, we must come full circle to an understanding of aloneness and loneliness.

One of the most universally desirable experiences is a romantic partnership. This is a BIOLOGICAL desire. It is normal, natural and healthy to want to connect deeply with an individual, and to establish a relationship of union and oneness with them. However, this cannot be done successfully unless we unify with all of life first. Many of us are so afraid of being alone that we jump from one person to another. If we’re truly honest, do we actually enjoy spending time with our very selves?

This question launches an extraordinary level of healing. When we realize we are afraid of being alone, we are on the edge of discovering our interconnectedness to all of life. This universal fear draws us out of our shadows and asks us to examine who we really are. When we realize that we are connected to all of live, and that there is always a permeating presence of love in all things, we cannot be lonely. It’s completely impossible! A life with God or all things is a life of joy and freedom. It is not a vibrational match to depression or loneliness, heartbreak and disconnectedness. It is from this realization that we are then able to move forward and share our purest and most authentic selves with another person or society.

I ask my readers today to discover whether they enjoy themselves. What do you do when you’re alone? What do you think of? Do you try to “busy” yourself so that you don’t feel the “sting” of not connecting to another person? Are you comfortable in public places alone? Do you immediately try to busy yourself or find someone to talk to or hang out with? If we don’t learn to love ourselves enough to be alone, we will never cure loneliness.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *