However, it’s actual registration in one’s awareness permanently shifts that which is experiencing life.
If you are not your thoughts, then who are you? What else is here?
Awakening is not the permanent turning off of thought. Thought is still experienced. If there are beliefs attached to the thoughts, the experiences can be much more intense.
Adyashanti says the most beautiful thing: “There is no such thing as a true belief.”
Once awareness EXPERIENCES that it is not thought, all beliefs become lies. The truth is continually seen in everything.
But it is being seen by an empty looking. The personal energy still arises in this empty looking and it is now being watched.
Most of the experiences of no thought result in an oscillation of energy. What has been seen cannot be unseen, yet the personal energy is still ironing out, acting out or playing out the dream. This period of oscillation can take years. But the most valuable and beautiful thing has already been done. There is no longer an experience of you, just the continual coming back to what is one’s true home: THIS.
THIS is so ordinary and so simple: the clock ticking, the car engine humming, the moving up the stairs, the pounding of the heart beat, the watching of the butterflies, the shifting weather, the feverish pitch of someone’s voice, the strong currents of energy, the insomnia, the tiredness….
This is always what was looked for.
In THIS there might be creativity, inspiration, productivity, wealth, romance…any myriad of pleasures. But the pleasures were never that which has been looked for.
In fact, what was looked for was loss.
Everything is in a continual state of loss. Everything is on it’s way out. This is the grand illusion directing this beautiful dream.
The suffering is mostly due to the fact that one is holding on to that which will inevitably be lost: the lover, the beautiful skin, the healthy lungs, the job, the conversation. This moment is continually on it’s way out. Nothing can be had here. It’s completely empty. It is full of emptiness.
What can be gotten here? Ironically, nothing. And nothing is always what was looked for in the search that led to suffering. The search that caused the control issues, the lies, the desperation, the stories, the strain and immense struggle to keep and maintain one’s structures of the dream.
It’s possible that the greater the suffering that is being experienced, the more likely one will be to seek out their true nature. But at the same token, everything is continually expressing your true nature in broad daylight. You are everything and your true nature never needed to be found. This was maybe only ever about a gentle remembering. A simple “Oh, yes. Aha!”
Life will continue to take everything from you. I’m sorry if this is a painful message, but it’s essence is a beautiful one. It’s essence is one that is whispering and calling for you to find that which is never lost, that which never changes. That which is untouchable by what others say, what others do, what you want, what you don’t want. Amidst this dance here it is: It’s THIS.
The bird song, the fly on the wall, the feel of the air on your skin, the parched lips, the embrace between a loved one.
If you’re here you’ll have to take it all. You can’t keep any of it out. That which you are is so full of love that it is able to contain everything. It has everything in it. It leaves nothing out.
If you are shutting life out in any way, you’ll miss what is right in front of you. In everything. It’s right here in your pushing. In your leaving, in your arriving.
Eventually every form must die. But that which you are is the only thing that can’t be lost. That which you are is that which contains death, yet it is also death.
I can’t write about this in any other most direct way. What is being said here is that you are EVERYTHING. This is the freedom. This is the love.
THIS IS IT.
What you are is not suffering. What you are is untouched by your thoughts, your beliefs and your stories about how broken you are, how messed up your life is, how the world is unjust and how you got the shittier end of the deal.
What you are is most likely not being recognized, even though it is all there is.
Why is your true nature not being recognized by you? This is actually irrelevant. Who would recognize your true nature if your true nature is all there is?
Energetically self realization is the abiding or non-abiding experience of the energy that is focused in thought ceasing and falling back into itself as God, energy, awareness, Love – whatever you want to call “true nature.”
Through religion, spirituality and centuries of concepts humans have come to project an image onto what God or awakening is, what it feels like, what it does, how it changes your life. This idea is grasped – held on to and thus it is misunderstood that what you are never needed to be looked for. It was simply a relaxing back into ones own being – one’s own beingness.
Quite often, this is a frustrating message. “How the hell am I suppose to recognize this when I’m angry?” “Or grieving” “Or bored” “Or heartbroken”? On the one hand, what you are is everything. So you are all these things just as much as you are that which you’ve come to understand as peace, love and bliss. The difference is that post awakening there can no longer be any real identification with the shifting temporal states of experience. Whether that’s emotional or mental. Point blank – it’s just like watching a movie. Furthermore, someone who’s had an awakening can be really annoying and difficult to deal with. An awakened person is not necessarily this image of perfect and divine bliss. Sure, there is an underlying unbroken peace evident in an abiding awakening such as what we see with Ananda Moyi Ma or Ramana Maharishi, but in most cases the falling away of identification undergoes a process of adjustment. The energy that described itself as “suffering” is now layer by layer undoing years of conditioning and lies. This just seems to be a natural byproduct and result of realization. Arguments or conflicts with an awakened human can be really confusing. An awake individual will feel emotions fully and completely, however they’re also able to drop the experience almost instantly.
In awakening, very little can be held on to. Awakening really is about loss not gain. It is impossible to gain anything with a true awakening.
That which is suffering is a dream. Suffering is the holding on to life. It is the continual attempt at gain.
So, “What do I do when I am angry or grieving?” you might ask. A great practice that I’ve heard multiple teachers refer to is the energetic shift and focus from the anger onto the space in which the anger is happening – the backdrop of awareness. This doesn’t mean that you can’t or won’t feel the thoughts, beliefs and emotions behind an experience like grief or anger. However, the more consistently the energy is shifted and refocused onto its spacious, vast, still and unmoving back drop the easier and more effective the process of reconditioning will become.
Nothing in the world of form will satisfy you. Try as you may to acquire one desire after another it will always, ultimately return to you dissatisfaction. This is such a brutal awakening for the person. In a way it’s devastating. But that which truly hears this message, is that which is being looked for in the world of form.
I’ve ceased producing content on non-duality for a few months now. The deconstruction after such a realization is extremely disorienting and results in various phases in which the mind and body is attempting to iron out that which it has accumulated through years of conditioning.
I have not changed, yet so much has been lost. In this loss only one thing is looked for and desired and this is the continual return to the true home that one is. Inversely, this home has never been left.
Upon seeing that one is not thought, thought still appears yet it is no longer taken for the truth. However, thought continues to produce an effect on the mind and body mechanism. From there it can still result in the feeling of constriction or relaxation. It is still recommended for the health of the body and the overall person that any psychological or physiological imbalances that are appearing be addressed and resolved.
One of the most profound effects of realization is the inability to live in lies. This is where the deconstruction takes place and also where the person will be subject to their own reality. Spiritual practices, counselors, self healing and self help practices are completely rendered obsolete without the person first experiencing true realization. I say this because without a true realization the tools are used by thought to fix thought, which is what I like to call a finger trap. Mind attempting to resolve mind is endless and will only result in the continual chase of desires. The key is to wake from the mind and then return to it and prove it’s delusion until the system is ironed out of the roots which have taken hold upon the identity. This is an act of absolute grace. Seeing reality outside of thought is an act of absolute grace. Yet it is indeed the most ordinary and obvious realization. As that which you are has been, is and always will be HERE. Right here. Right here. Right here.
There are many very good speakers on this subject: Jeff Foster, Rupert Spira, Gangaji, Adyashanti, Lisa Cairns. It is very helpful to listen to Satsang on non duality and each of these speakers in their own expression assists in the removal of delusion. It is highly recommended for those that get into this subject to explore other speakers in order to come to terms with their own experience.
The greatest challenge being faced in the dynamic that results from “seeing” is the period of deconstruction when the energy is vacillating between it’s conditioning and the reality that had revealed itself. One must grapple with the boundless, groundless space while experiencing it’s conditioning with even more sensitivity and capacity than it was ever capable of before. Ultimately, there really is just one end. All of life is continually driving itself into utmost clarity and authenticity no matter what you do, say or think about reality. In fact, the whole point of non duality is the ultimate pulverization of the navigator or controller energy. This is an inevitable effect of realization and can’t really be avoided, atleast not for very long. That which has been seen has already set the process of reconciliation in motion and does not have any interest whatsoever in lies. So in this regard life can become more painful, more messy and more unmanageable. But after this period, whose duration is variant, (and irrelevant at this point as the realization has registered the entirety of it’s existence) one should begin to see the perfect order of life and the body-mind should begin to relax it’s neurosis and erratic behaviors.
I’m not sure how much emphasis I want to place in consecutive writings defining and describing this deconstruction process. Ultimately, the message of this blog in one, it is simple, it is direct and to the point: there is just THIS and THIS is love beyond the imagination of what love is.
The ultimate act of self-love is to meet the need of the moment exactly as it is. This requires raw honesty and you can’t have that if you’re not willing to see through the illusions, through that image of yourself that that projects it’s own image, it’s own reality, onto, not just itself but all of life. The more it knows the less it is in contact with the truth. This can be a hard thing to comprehend, but it really doesn’t need to be understood but rather experienced. What does reality look and feel like without your thoughts about it?
This is about “loosening the grip”. However, the grip in and of itself is the portal through which the recognition of true oneness is seen. IF that which is navigating, controlling or holding onto life is not examined and remains unseen, then that which is most true cannot reveal itself. Like these words I’ve written. There is no active component in writing them. There’s a receiving. This act would not be able to happen if the frontal cortex were active, if thought were expressing them. This realization gives all of life a different nature, an alternative perspective because it is seen that there is a sentient intelligence at play. There is something beyond the comprehension of the mind that is emerging.
Now, the real matter at hand is that this intelligence has the ability to become conscious of itself. This realization does not need to be forced or even caged. In fact it is impossible to force it or hold on to it. The energy that is identified with thought will either let go or it won’t. But EVERYTHING IN LIFE, EVERYTHING – IS DRIVING ITSELF TO THIS REALIZATION. THE TRUTH IS THE ULTIMATE GOAL OF EVERYTHING IN LIFE. Unless, the truth arising in the moment cannot be seen a greater truth cannot reveal itself.
In a way I wasn’t really prepared to know my true nature. I had been in spiritual practice for nearly a decade and desperately seeking God. I would have done anything to find him. And I mean that. From the deepest core of my being, I wanted only to know the truth. I would have given up everything I had for the answer. I spent endless nights crying tirelessly on my floor to God asking Him to come to me. There was a lot of suffering in my life. Mental despair. I never had a physical ailment to cause me discomfort, but I was tortured. By my parent’s expectations, by my own confusion, by my own seeking.
From Kundalini Yoga, to meditation, prayer, Ernest Holmes, the Bible, Eckhart Tolle, Neal Donald Walsch and other new age teachers I wanted to find the answer to my deepest question “What is God?” I was heavily involved in energy work like automatic journaling, tarot, crystals, chakra clearings, channeling and Kundalini. The experiences were blissful … and temporary. I thought if I could make them last forever, if I could stay in a continual state of pleasure and gratitude, if I could maintain the right persona for long enough, then I would make it. God would reveal itself to me. Or maybe if I activate all my psychic powers then I would have it all? Maybe that’s what would do it?
The only way to find out what you are is to find out what you’re not. In September of 2015, I watched a video from Wayne Wirs (who left this planet two months ago, as I’m writing this). He suggested that every time a thought arises – to throw it out. He said that we were not our thoughts. I had heard this a thousand times. I really had. This was the oldest teaching in the book. But I watched that video and something in me heard what he had said. I mean, I REALLY HEARD IT.
And so, for about five days, a period of extreme bliss started. I was silenced inside. All I could do was spend the days alone, in remote places. Near waterfalls, lagoons, I went on hikes and there was just silence. I would look at people passing me on the street and I was crushed. There was no “I” and “Them”. I was really gone. There was only love. I don’t desire to describe this any further. There have been too many people describing experiences and attempting to convey this. This is not what I want to do. I want you to find this out for yourself. And you will.
So, what did this all mean? What was I going to do with it? The mind still asks these questions. But the only question that ever mattered had already been answered: “Who Am I”?
And so, from this unfathomable mystery I write this. These words are meant for those who genuinely seek to know who they are and those who, too, have already heard the call.
I invite you to stop. Just push pause. Stop trying to get something, to go somewhere, to change life, to change your suffering. Completely stop. As you read this, go beyond the meaning of these words. Go into their silence.
Stopping is contrary to society. It is contrary to even the movement of the earth and the growth of trees. But I’m asking you to stop. You’ll notice you won’t be able to stop your thoughts. I’m not asking you to stop your thoughts. Underneath those thoughts is an even greater energy, beliefs. Somewhere among those beliefs is one belief, from which all the others arise. The belief that “you” exist. I’m not going to give you that whole “you’re not really here” non dual BS. Clearly, you’re here. But who you think you are is blocking you from really being here. I’m not asking you to stop your thoughts, I’m asking you to be willing to stop the idea of a YOU. Of someone who lives in time.
Many teachers focus on the negation of thoughts and have the student focus exclusively on awareness. You’ve heard the word “awareness” and now this is supposedly what you are, and you have to get back there somehow. To being awareness. Through yoga, meditation, practicing presence or some other way. You won’t ever make it. You won’t get there, because you can’t get something that you are. Moreover, awareness is a word. What you are is not a word, or a name, or a series of traits. What you are is a total mystery. And this is why non-dual teachers refer to “nothingness” or “death”.
Waking up to this is not some phenomena that is happening only to those worthy of it. Waking up is the most ordinary experience. In fact, it’s so ordinary that it is completely missed. Moreover, waking up doesn’t really happen. What appears is a glimpse of what was, is and always will be here. From this seeing, a more authentic life is had. A life without filters. A life without stories or lies. In fact, once this is seen all else disappears and only life is left.
Life. In all it’s horror, surprise and beauty. Pleasure and pain, light and darkness, stillness and movement, love and hate. But again, these are just words. What is beyond discomfort and comfort, resistance and acceptance? What is here, just beneath the surface? What is it that’s doing the listening, the speaking, the looking? A complete and total mystery. And so the only option, really, is to stop. All of this is appearing from a complete mystery, from a completely unknown source. It is arising and falling back into itself, back into nothing. Everything is in a perpetual state of loss. Loss is our nature. This experience of “seeing” is completely about Loss. And so: as you stop, you are lost.
Initially, this experience of the loss of oneself is a radical and confusing one. If you try to discuss it with friends and family, they most likely won’t get it. Moreover, there are many non-dual teachers who will try to help you make sense of what you’ve seen. After the initial bliss fades, listening to Satsang or non-duality will be pleasurable and will likely give the imagined “you” some sense of comfort, safety and validation. However, eventually, that which has been revealed through a complete act of grace, will want only for itself. This is typically an awkward period, when one will loose interest in people, environments, hobbies, work and maybe even food. In fact, Ramana Maharshi, one of the greatest non-dual teachers of all time was so awake that he was found in a cave being eaten by insects. Most interests will completely fade. One reasoning for this, is that the person or the body mechanism has spent so many years acquiring identity that it no longer desires for that which it has been identified by. One of Ramana’s greatest teachings is that once the object is seen as the subject, that relationship can no longer exist, for the seer and the seen are one. The collapse of the personal identity, is in and of itself a terrifying experience. The energy of the personal self will try to hold on as long as it can to itself, but a complete collapse is inevitable, for the experience of “seeing” , once begun, can only lead in one direction. Through time, the mind looses more and more of its energy and the space between thoughts becomes more and more. This phase can last for various periods of time, depending on how deeply rooted and conditioned the person is. The more the mind and body mechanism has to iron out, the longer the process takes to “register”. This is all a part of an experience and by this time, the energy knows itself well enough to continue through without hesitance. However, anything is possible and anything can happen so – just go with it!
In awakening, the equalization of appearances occurs all at once.
As one begins the loss of personal identity, there cannot be any more filters. Nothing can be left out. In fact, all the neurosis and compulsion of the mind falls forward like a tsunami. It’s impossible to ignore and all things demand examination. In some cases, the mind will continue to attempt to “hash” out it’s activity and in other’s there will be a complete disinterest in the disentanglement. Just its pure happening There comes a point in which the personality might adjust, however this decentralization of conditioning cannot and will not make sense by or be understood by the mind. In a way, ones hands are tied.
Once the seeing occurs, the process which is undergone is completely up to the wiring of the unique mechanism in which the seeing has occurred. However, the destination is only one. Inevitably, the seeker falls away and what has been seen cannot be unseen. There is no longer ground under ones feet so to speak. One can no longer return to that which was.
Equalization refers to the loss of importance of one thing over another.
Life will have to let itself in. In this phenomena – you (or that which you think you are) cannot choose the boundaries. You do not exist and therefore neither do boundaries. Life will crush you.
All that is appearing is HERE and that which it is appearing in is so vast, so free and so still. The sensations, the sounds, the feelings are complete innocence. They are untouched by what you think about them, yet what you think about them is what they are. You and them are one in the same. The collapse of that which is looking simultaneously collapses that which is being looked at. The subject and object relationship no longer exists. There is just the seeing, just the hearing, just the one SELF. Ramana Maharshi does a terrific job describing this: “ I cannot show you God or enable you to see God because God is not an object that can be seen. God is the subject…The subject and object appear together and disappear together.”
What is being perceived and that which is perceiving is the one thing and the experience of this is partly dependent on the how strong one’s personal identity is.
The experience of the seeing is an act of complete grace. What I’m saying is that it is not a one-off deal, it is a process. Many seekers have an experience of oneness through grace, drugs, meditation etc, but this realization shakes the core of ones being. A true experience ensures one cannot and will not ever be the same again.
A genuine search for the Truth undoubtedly results in seeing as that which is WANTS to be seen. It is not hiding. God is not playing hide and seek with you. You are playing hide and seek in God, as God. Yet, you are obstructing the seeing. Until “you” fall away seeing cannot happen. And once it does, nothing will be left out any more. This is a process for those that are willing to loose it all. No exceptions.
Many beings are still living in the world of duality. Duality is the appearance which is still the primary experience of beings. There is a great push of ones energy into the containment of ones identity and also the identity of what the future should look like. Many have yet to anchor and appreciate pure beingness. Surely, we must listen to that which makes our hearts sing, yet we must also be willing to recognize that the heart and song are already you! You already know who you are. This is an immediate knowingness. This is the part of us that doesn’t question or make choices – it is the part that already is the answer and the choice. Yet, none-the-less all experiences are here to show you the vast aspects of yourself and we are continually dissolving and recreating ourselves, never fixed or solid for too long.
Mastery or truth-seeing comes through inner knowing. Inner knowing comes through giving space for the integration of experience. Every journey and every experience helps the Self to release the lies of what one is not, by allowing outdated patterns and aspects to arise. Neither good or bad, these programs or patters, allow us to enter into the void or the unknown, which is the true power and true nature of our beingness. Like a parabola, the initiate can now move out of the journey changed and inwardly enriched through all of life. What seemingly felt like a pointless or painful experience, has now proven to be the movement of our being into greater, deeper and more authentic levels of presence. This is a time of integration – a deep period of going in and integrating experiences so that more authentic expressions can be embodied. This is the END or completion of a journey . When one feels the zest and energy towards a certain experience wanning, the lack of inspiration or disinterest signals closure or completion, fully allowing gone to shift inwardly onto the inner plane.
“Two roads diverged into one and I, I took the one less traveled”
Choices no longer truly appear, but rather we are now revealing more and more of our own inner truth and nature. This isn’t a period of going into the known or familiar, for as we shed the old lies, we are also shedding old skins and false identities. As we register our own truth, choosing happens automatically. Moving into the new hasn’t yet developed it’s blueprint, or a neuro-pathway, so it feels threatening and many fears come up to keep us in the safe and the familiar world that we know. But lies will only feel good for so long before our restlessness or discontent sets in again. It’s really important to understand that harsh situations and substances interfere with our navigational capacities. They drain an abhorrent amount of energy that is actually there to be channeled into psychic insights that come through our intuition and awareness, often clouded. The powerful and potent frequencies of the eclipse season are here to be channeled, directed and released. This process is natural and shouldn’t be tedious or given too much energy, this is a natural, instant, immediate movement of energy.
As humans, we’re learning to find fulfillment in and of oneself, but this can only truly happen through the recognition that all is one.
By continuing on the path of least resistance, we’re allowing inner knowing to strengthen and continue to guide us into our own inner truth, into our authenticity. Stories that arrive in “time” of memories or hopes are just illusions. We mustn’t be afraid to change through entry into uncharted territories.
Another prominent theme for these eclipses is family, soul family, community, friendship. Deep connection and communion serves us and the universe at large, deeply. We are being invited to connect in new ways with loved ones. As we release ourselves from our own stories and lies, we’re also able to do the same for others. A return into communion is a return to the unconditional love that we are in truth. As we migrate and are drawn toward back into family, we’re able to re-enforce what’s no longer working for us or in our relationships and we’re invited to let our loved ones out of the prison of stories that we’ve kept them in. Alternatively, we’re also coming together with loved ones on a newly solidified ground of strength and commitment to our true nature. Having built strong foundations through the experience of our true nature, we’ve come together to share our gifts of strength and true power. Knowing one’s true nature means knowing ones place in life and as we fully accept and embody this new position with honor and grace, we no longer have to be beggars. We’re living our own life on our own terms, without the need for approval or recognition which truly is an achievement worth noting.
Many masculine or father issues will also be arising at this time. This points to issues with control and authority. This is a time to give up the search for what is “right”. We no longer need calculated behaviors to define how we get love from others. Status and rank can only exist for those that are attempting to contain an image of perfection in order to fulfill themselves with a love that they already are in nature. For those who’ve had rocky relationships with father figures, or authority in general, they’ll will need to understand, through inner knowing, that in order to bring the masculine and feminine back into balance (balance in expression, for in truth, all has always been and will be in harmony), the present moment must be completely absorbed in one’s awareness. We will notice that the feminine, or the presence that is, was and always will be right HERE and NOW. In this we stop abusing ourselves for not being perfect or having it all figured out. We realize that it’s possible to have peace without having, doing, achieving the “right” version of reality. Here we must embrace our path, our experiences and how far we’ve truly come. Liberating ourselves from our stories, we understand that one can never truly “make it”. “Making it” only happens in the comparison with others. But we are one. Setting one image up against another is frankly outdated, abusive and corrodes the possibility of experiencing ones truth, that one already is and always will be EVERYTHING that is happening. Comparison only happens in dreamland. It can only happen when the present moment is not recognized in the truth of what it is. When all is seen as who you are, there cannot be anymore comparison.
The eclipses invite us into a commitment to that which is most authentic and true for us. This is the end of lies. Are we ready to be just as we are? Here the control dissolves, no longer attempting or even able to hold onto the image of a lie.
In this boundless space all appears. The body, the thoughts, the program, the sounds, the colors, the feelings. These are appearing and disappearing out of and into itself.
Who are you?
Virtually, this is the most profound inquiry, yet one that can’t be answered by that which is asking the question.
You can’t wake yourself up to the true nature of things, it’s so immediate and so close. It’s RIGHT HERE. HERE. HERE. HERE. But you can’t wake up to it, because what you think you are is itself as just a thought.
You don’t need to go anywhere, do anything, chant a mantra, pray or spend years in solitude to wake up. These things are just arising and falling in that which you are which is a vast awakeness.
There is no controller in this recognition. YOU don’t choose, YOU don’t make decisions or live 100 years. This is a lie. What you think you are is a dream happening in the dreamer. This dreamer is everything in the dream, the dreamer is the true experiencer of everything that is appearing in the dream which it is. The dreamer has no beginning, middle or end. It is immediate. It is right HERE. It is closer than close. It is your very nature.
When the energy that thinks it exists begins the collapse back into it’s true nature, it might still hang on to itself not fully willing to ‘die away’ or dissolve. It’s not really interested in completely letting go. In true awakeness, that which you think you are will still appear and disappear in order to function and fulfill it’s tasks of pain or pleasure, however that self is not identified any longer. It can’t be. If it were awake and identified, it would be drawn to living a lie, but that’s impossible. In this realization there cannot be anymore lies. There’s no barriers of inside or outside. You are not safe here. You are transparent. There aren’t any boundaries of where you begin and where you end.
This is not referring to conditioning, habits, societal programming. Those are also just functions and within the realization it’s possible that those functions lessen, but that which is being pointed to has nothing to do with the functions of things, with the movement between pleasure or pain. It has nothing to do with this. Self help and spirituality are a good resource for improving this conditioning, but not this closeness or immediacy of truth. That is, was and forever will be untouched. Here, in this space, there is only that which is happening, which doesn’t end or begin and is beyond that which appears or collapses.
This won’t and shouldn’t make sense to that which is searching, this can only be read and made true upon the experience of one’s true nature. And it’s right here, closer than the breath.
Once the truth of who you are is seen – the stories won’t work anymore. Nothing can remain hidden by them. Life becomes unfiltered. Who you think you are doesn’t want the truth. It doesn’t truly want to wake up. It’s addicted to another moment, to a place that’s better than right here. It’s addicted to getting another day of seeking. It’s addicted to tomorrow, to time. The separateness uses “out there” to fill it’s dream. It uses time to find a sense of completion in order to validate it’s dream. It uses people, places, experiences and ideas to solidify it’s unsolid sense of self. Where are you? Can you find yourself? You aren’t really here. You’re appearing as a thought. There’s only life happening, there’s only this. The dream desires the house, the family, the money, the success. And the search can be really beautiful and pleasurable. A sobering truth is being referenced. Who you think you are is just a thought appearing in time. Life dreamt you up.
Upon the seeing of one’s true nature, there is no escape from what’s truly happening – which is an infinite void of space arising in form. This is a love affair. It might be bloody, depressed, angry, it’s likely playing out a strong conditioning, but eventually it will have to face the bottomless pit of the unknown. Either here and now or in physical death.
This death is what’s being avoided in the non-recognition of true self, this avoidance of a continual death into the unknown. Thoughts and identification isn’t interested in the unknown, it’s interested in getting what it wants. This is a functioning of a mechanism. As you notice it, you will notice it’s happening on its own. Within this mechanism’s wiring, seeking appears and attempts to validate it’s existence. It’s not really after the truth, it’s after a road map towards acquiring feelings that it believes will make it whole.
Wholeness is the result of the recognition of your non-existence. IT is an energetic shift into the unknown. In this mechanism the “I” is an experience of claiming appearances. “I” recognizes phenomena and form and attributes the movement of consciousness into thoughts and energetic sensations “I am_________enlightened…………..more at peace………etc. IT pulls all of life into a focal point to cling to it’s sense of existence.
You’re not really here.. You’re not the looking, the seeing, the hearing and the speaking. Those appearances are happening on their own and completely unbound and independent of “I”. There is only life here. “I” fills the unknown, the emptiness with itself in order to experience itself.
If you’re merely hearing these words and mentally understanding them, you run the risk of passivity. Yet, the actual seeing of this, is much more than the end of seeking, it’s the death of you and the death of “other”. It is a complete energetic collapse.
You don’t get here to this realization, because there was only ever this. A “you” “getting” “it” would imply a subject and object relationship, which only appears in the dream.
There’s nothing more addictive than the chase…the getting. Yet, there’s never any real satisfaction in it. Getting the approval, fulfilling the desire, moving into the perfect house, finding the spouse. What is it that is seeking? What is it that is suffering? There are plenty of schools of thought focused on the getting. How to make it. How to be a better person. How to manifest a million dollars. How to reach enlightenment. How to fix the disorder. How to improve the feelings. An endless sea of getting.
That which is interested in the truth, will get nothing. NO-THING. If you are asking about the truth, fear not – you will have the answer. However, the answer may not necessarily be what you bargained for. The answer is the taking off of the filter. This has nothing to do with “psychic powers” or “making it”. No. This is groundless, infinite emptiness. Yet, these are just descriptive words. What will reveal itself to you has no beginning or end, no top or bottom, it is neither horizontal or linear, black or white. It is not a feeling, a thought, or even an experience. Experience and everything else is appearing in it.
If you’re interested in “how to heal yourself”, “how to develop psychic powers”, “how to feel more positive emotions”, “how to find your life purpose” – this blog is not for you. You will not find those answers here. What I attempt to point you towards is a self-inquiry into what you truly are. The very truth, the very essence of your being. I attempt to try and point you towards something that was here and will be here after and before everything. It is formless, yet it is form. Why does this matter? The truth, your very being, seems to be a matter of interest if you ask me. It matters in so much as this self inquiry may ultimately guide you into a place without seeking, into a knowing of your very essence. This is worth the inquiry if one is interested in their true nature.
This inquiry is a pulverization of reality. You cannot arrive here without burning away. Yet, that which hears this and wants that which it believes is enlightenment isn’t really interested in enlightenment. It’s interested in having another day of seeking. Just stop. Stop. See what’s really here. Underneath THIS. Just see it. Right here. HERE. HERE. HERE. Look beneath the words, the concepts, the feelings. Just stop and look. That’s all it takes.