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Kitten Eyes

Non-duality, not two. One.

What does this mean?

What does this TRULY mean?

If I am not separate from you, or from anything, how does that affect me? How does that affect you?

The deeper and deeper this timeless Truth unveils itself, and the less and less that we hold on to, the more sensitive we become.

So sensitive, in fact, does awareness become once reality or Truth has registered it’s identity in the body, that it begins to release deeply suppressed sates, emotions, and thoughts. This can be very extreme in some cases and very light in others, depending on the unique makeup of the body.

What’s most fascinating is the full-stop realization that each thought, each action, each feeling affects the whole.

This is a total “holy fuck!” moment. The most beautiful, liberating showcase of Truth.

This process in this particular body has resulted in a lot of crying. Sometimes just during a very simple moment like watching a dog food commercial and other times simply by watching someone cross the street. There is a significant desire to spend time with nature, children, and animals, and also drastic physical changes, there is also a lot of laughter at VERY silly and stupid things.

But what’s most striking is that life is just as awake here as it is everywhere. Everything that is looked at is just as awake as this body. Everything is listening to itself. Receiving itself. Good and bad. Life is felt so deeply, at such an extreme level that the collective pain and pleasure penetrates every human cell. Anything and everything that one human does, they are doing to the collective.

What is seen in waking up is that any thought not in alignment with this truth that has been recognized hits the whole. In one sense there’s a greater responsibility towards the truth, but in another, it’s also seen as utterly meaningless. Ultimately, what’s being said in these words is that the entire world we live in is one sentient energy picking up and collecting feelings, thoughts, emotions, states of being. It cries it laughs, it looks for respite, it looks for shelter.

This is so stunning! So beautiful. I always imagine reality or this grandiose, unfathomable truth or enlightenment that so many are seeking as a pure, innocent little kitten, with unguarded and loving kitten eyes. It’s so harmless, so free. It seems like it’s raping, lying and murdering. It appears as though it’s imprisoning innocent people, drowning bodies and giving out diseases and distributing resources unevenly, creating poverty. But, my goodness, it’s doing this and collapsing the moment it appears in total grace and love.

I don’t know how to talk about this or write about it so I don’t post as often. But when it moves, I, too, move and sing…

 

Authority

When the energy is contracted and feels separate, we don’t trust ourselves, our spirits, our life as a whole; we aren’t aware of a sense of power. We become afraid. We become beggars, looking to the outside for a sense of security, purpose, and leadership. We don’t know the answers, so we look to others who do; others who seem to “have it together.”

The truth is that the stillness of our being, the true power, has always been right where we are all along, but in the contracted state of separation, in this process of looking out, we project a sense of “power” onto the closest “authority” figure: a boss, spouse, government, parent. This seeking chips away at our sense of power bit by bit and this separateness begins to “demonize” this new authority figure. The false projection becomes a shadow. Anytime we are triggered emotionally is due to this shadow, which is the cloak of resistance. In this sense, resistance has so much potential to wake us up, to unveil the hidden truth! Every time we’re triggered we can celebrate “Another opportunity to be even freer than I already am…” Typically, when viewed through false lenses, this resistance creates a sense of loss, confusion and we begin to feel like we’re between a “rock and a hard place”.

In essence, this really isn’t a complicated problem. As we recognize what’s happening, understand why we don’t trust life and begin to surrender to our own desires and urges rather than shaming them and making them wrong, bit by bit and step by step we learn what true freedom is and how it creates personal freedom. We get a chance to re-emerge, like a baby taking its first steps after crawling for so long. As we take these first steps, we begin to learn about something that society is not set up to teach within communal structures like families, education systems, governments, and the corporate environment, which is inner authority or independence.

From the beginning of time, society (which is defined by relationships between individuals that share a distinctive culture or institution and gives rise to diverse religious, social and economic viewpoints) has been set up and conditioned for survival. For years ( “…human society could [have started] as recently as 7,000 years ago when we first started to employ agriculture as a primary method of obtaining food and started building large, permanent settlements or as far back as 2,000,000 billion years ago…” ) leadership has been propagated in order to sustain the survival of the human race. Authority figures began to emerge as a result of “superior genetics”: more resources, beautiful looks, more knowledge, education, etc, in order to maintain order or rules, and most often private agendas.

The shadow side of this is the arrival of a victim/perpetrator relationship, as various and distinct viewpoints begin to vie for recognition. In extreme cases, authority figures like governments begin to control societies through the public or private lives of citizens, domestic violence emerges or individual opinions are silenced for fear of condemnation because rules are not followed. What happens here? The obvious. People begin to reject their own independent needs, for the needs of the group. This, on some level, has been necessary, especially since the human is a unique species with mirror neurons, which give rise to empathy and compassion, other very important aspects of survival.

But now, as this is recognized and we begin to take our first steps towards the unknown territory of our wild souls, through a quiet and loving listening, we learn to stand again on the wings of the universe. As we rise up and stand, we slowly learn to walk and then eventually run! We become aware of our limitless and infinite freedom, unstoppable and whole. Only through the expression of the truth of our being can we truly serve the whole and assist with the survival of the human race.

So, as you read this, I hope that your being wakes up to its dreams and illusions that it is not free and powerful and justified in its’ wants and needs, and begins to dance and sing! We must remember that in truth, we were always one movement, one expression of love. There only ever was and is freedom, masked by diversity. It is when we look upon another that we unveil the truth. It is when we are able to look through the dream of separation that this dancing stillness, this beautiful freedom can emerge.

More about society and early human behavior, here.

Suffering

Although you may spend your life killing, you will not exhaust all your foes.
– Nagarjuna

The Buddha stated that to live is to suffer, but he also said that there was a way out of it. He called this ending “enlightenment” or the end of suffering.

Most often we don’t realize that we’re suffering, because awareness has inhabited, through focus, an identity. We dwell in an identity of likes and dislikes, desires and attachments. They have become who we are.

Awareness has funneled mostly all of its attention into fitting the form of a “Kate” or “Steve”. It has created the perfect illusion by adjusting to this dwelling, this costume of a Steve or Kate.

Kate or Steve are synonymous with suffering. As long as they exist, there will be suffering.

Kate and Steve will never make it. They will never, ever make it to the end of suffering.

Who are you?

This question is the origin of the path of direct inquiry or Advaita Vedanta (not two/non-duality)

It is remembered on this path that what you are is not this identity. It is registered that what you are has never suffered.

Realization is as simple as losing interest in yourself. Completely.

Awareness has become so absorbed in its separate identity that rarely is there a gap that is long enough to reveal that there is absolute peace and stillness, quiet presence, an unbroken state of aliveness that was and is doing the looking, listening, speaking, thinking, feeling, sensing. It has always been known that what was here, what was right here just IS. Life. It just is, alive. Right here.

In essence, this does matter. Don’t live an entire life only to find at the doorstep of your death that peace was here all along.

Kate and Steve will never find peace. They will never make it.

To see this, simply lose interest in Kate and Steve. They’re not running the show and they never were.

They weren’t responsible for you desiring, or getting, or losing. It seemed like it in the dream. In the illusion that they made choices and arrived in certain destinations and made it to money, or perfect health, or love. But they didn’t. They never did anything. In fact, they were never here. They were being dreamt up by life, moment to moment. They appeared when they needed to, but they also disappeared.

Are there times when you’re not playing out you? Are there times when there is just life, just stillness? Like when you’re making love, doing something you love, or having an incredible conversation. This can be said that you disappeared when you were “in the moment”. But you were never in the moment because you’re not really here. You seemed to have disappeared and all there was, was the moment.

Kate and Steve will never make it. No matter if they meet the perfect partner, find the most rewarding career, have the ideal amount of kids, heal and save the most amount of people, eat the healthiest diet, they will never ever make it.

Loose interest in who you think you are, only then will you find this infinite, indwelling ever present reservoir of stillness. It’s always been here, it’s never left you. IT is always here, right where you are. Never in anything, or anyone or any place. It’s always right here. You could be locked away in a dungeon, in prison, you could be in the middle of extreme depression, you may have been going through death or divorce or cancer. But it’s here. It’s in your cancer, in your prison cell, it’s right here. It’s in it. It is it. You are everything.

Return

Maya means illusion. Illusion implies two. That which is real and that which is unreal.

There is only that which is real. Or that which is unreal. There is not two.

Either everything is real, or everything is unreal.

This can only be spoken about in absoluteness, for as soon as it is separated it perpetuates an understanding that there is something outside of what is. That which is the dream and that which is not.

In the context of the body, the body is all there is and it is also nothing.

The body appears and disappears and changes, just as all forms. Whether it’s the leaves on the tree, the death of the loved one or the end of a long career. Everything comes and goes. nothing is exempt from this.

The body and the thoughts appear simultaneously. One cannot arise without the other. The mind is necessary for the body and the body is necessary for the mind. Whatever it is that appears in the body has had to have appeared in the mind, whatever it is in the mind has had to have appeared in the body. This is why modern neuroscience is so fascinated by the impact that our thoughts have on our reality.

It is understood that that which is thought about most is also that which appears. Thoughts are directly related to and impact appearances. It is also understood that it is possible to choose what it is that does and does not appear.

This process of choosing and creating can be referred to as an illusion or as reality. It is interchangeable, and also not an argument of whether it is one or the other.

The body or the mind contains an infinite power. This has been acknowledged by religion, spirituality, and experience.

However, this infinite energy, which is everything, is not confined or contained within the body. IT is only looking through, listening through and speaking through the body. It is expressing itself as best it can within the confines of the body and the mind.

When the energy relaxes it’s focus on the body or mind, either through exercise, music, art or something engaging like a passion or conversation then the energy can relax into itself. It can be at peace.

However, this energy has always been at peace. This peace has been eclipsed through the focus on the body or the mind, on what the body has or has not on what the mind can or cannot get. This is a very exciting and stimulating game so the energy focuses on it. In fact, it is so much more engaging and fun for the energy to engage in the drama. Just look – everywhere you go drama, gossip and anything that is propagating or producing the dreamlike social media images of perfection, beauty, money – this is interesting Source loves it.

But source energy has gotten lost in itself, in its very own dream. It has become fully enraptured in its delusion.

This is actually very cute and innocent.

But it’s also exhausting for the body and the mind.

When the body and the mind become exhausted, they begin to lose interest in the drama and the dream. The mechanism begins to drop away and disengage with life. This may appear as sickness or as depression, as a breakup or as walking away from a long-standing dream or goal.

The energy has just given up. It is ready to let go and surrender.

This might appear as a breakdown or falling to one’s knees. Or even an extreme escape to a desert island or even suicide. In some cases, this is the return home. The body and mind may turn to spirituality for this return, or it may just go directly back into stillness.

This is an invitation for you to let go and return to your stillness. But not as the body or the mind. This is an invitation for you to return to pure being. It’s right here. It’s never left you. It’s never even been hidden. It just appeared that way. But it was always your eyes, your ears, your voice, your love.

When you were in the throes of passion, when you were at your lowest, when you were enraged, and hurt or broken, when you were overjoyed with the birth of your first child or when you finished your Ph.D. or got married. It was always silently watching itself. You were not responsible for your mistakes when you hurt others, lost your fortune or fell ill. You were not responsible for telling your mother you loved her before you die, nor were you responsible for choosing to leave the abusive relationship before it got too late. You are not to blame for any of this. You did nothing wrong. You were always a free, silent, open power watching yourself in each situation. When you were under the influence of drugs and alcohol you were the same when you screamed at your lover and got in a fight with your closest friend, when you lied or cheated or killed, you were always the same. You did nothing wrong. This has always been a love affair. Under the tears, the screams, the laughter, and the confusion, you were always the same. You were always untouched by these movements in time that came and went from one movement of the hour clock to the other.

Only one word beckons you home now: return.

Just return.

Right here, right now.

Rest your weary self and return.

Money

Two of the greatest “me” dynamics are money and love. The seperate self is heavily invested in both. It exerts a significant amount of energy into the getting and maintaining both love and money. However, from the waking up from the dream or illusion, it is seen that neither money or love can do anything for us. More often than not, this shrivels the personal drive. The personal self does not know where to go and what to do, now that it has recognized that it will not find completion in either money or love. It might shut down, back into itself, and wait for an extended period of time as it integrates the magnitude of it’s own realization. Or it might just move more deeply into alignment with the expression of it’s true nature, it’s true freedom which is the boundless, limitless here and now.

Ultimately, the drying up of a personal drive means that all sense of “getting” ends. And of course without the drive to get or do things, very little money might be happening. This clearly is not the case for all bodies, but many of them will have a domino affect from their realization. Your whole world crumbles and ends. There might still be attempts at acquiring money or love, but it will always arrive at the same conclusion, that: THE SEPERATE ENTITY WILL NEVER FEEL RICH OR LOVED, IT WILL ALWAYS FEEL LIMITED AND POOR.

The seperate self always feels limited and so, it will always fear death. Non-duality is the end of this.

This is part of the awakening process. The body is ironing out years of false conditioning. It is not clear how long it takes for the body to adjust to it’s truth. However, the present experience must always be returned to, out of the movement of the mind. “What is happening right here?” “What is wanted right here?”

Non duality is the return to primal urges, primal expressions until it is reduced completely and fully to what it is, which is the spontaneous expression of love here and now.

How can something that feels full and complete commit acts of violence or feel unloved and poor?

This is a return to alignment. This is the return to one self.

From this self the energy will begin to move again towards desires and other forms of creative expression; but it can’t justifiably do this until it is truly free. And at this point of the awakening process, there’s no turning back. IT must be followed through all the way.

For the longest time I would have a recurring dream, that many people I know have also had. In this dream, I am standing by the sea shore and I am about to be wiped out by a gigantic tsunami. Instead of just accepting the inevitable, I find a boulder or some structure to wrap my body around and hold on to it, so that I won’t be taken away by the vast infinite ocean. I had this dream at least once a week! I’d like to use this metaphor here, because I think it’s a good one.

The inevitability of death continually lurks in the shadows of our consciousness. There’s no getting around it. Everyone must die and everything knows that it must die. Inescapably, death will come for you and your loved ones and for all your creations at some point. There is no real possibility of avoiding the annihilation of temporal forms. Does it not make sense then to accept the mortality of things? Of all appearances, including the body and the mind? Does it not make sense to make peace with one’s own death?

It is not you that is resisting death. This is not your doing. The urge to live is the creative urge. It is the urge for another moment, the urge for another day to create. This is so, so beautiful. The desire for another day to express love is masquerading as the fear of death. Wow!

Be yourself now, friends. Be the love that you are now.

This love does not begin or end.

This love is an infinite void. This present moment is love, which is an infinite void. In this void, nothing can ever be gained and so nothing can ever be lost.

Watch your body walk to the door, feel the hand on the doorknob, experience the feeling of combing your hair or swallowing a hot coffee. Is this life really just flesh and bones? Or is there something more unlimited expressing here?

Beyond the mind, everything dissolves and only this is left. Only this. Everything eventually will be lost. In fact, this moment at the very heart is, was and always will be absolute loss. Any illusion of anything you have, or have ever had must come to an end. Non-duality is the end of you as you know it. The limited, temporal, seperate you can not go on. But this is not a hopeless message, in fact, it’s the complete opposite. What you are right here and right now is completely and utterly infinite.

Limitations must be seen for what they are right here and right now, not in some distant time line from old age, destiny or misfortune. Once the temporal is embraced fully for what it is, the seperate self will finally be able to surrender to all of life. It will finally be able to give in to the tsunami of life.

Right here, nothing can ever come and go. Right here everything is still, everything is unmoving. The only movement right here and right now is the mind. It is only the mind that is moving towards death. And it is only the mind that is afraid of death. And because the mind can be experienced, it is not who you are, because you are the experiencer. In you everything comes and goes. When one awakes in the morning, everything arises. You arise, but life also arises. It is not just you here. You and everything arises simultaneously: the sounds, the thoughts, the phone calls, the house cat, the busy road.

Do you see that this life has only ever been one movement?

That only one thing has ever been appearing?

In complete silence.

In complete innocence.

Everything is You

Life is your mirror. Relationships are your mirror. What you see, what you hear and what you experience is in fact, yourself. This is the entire essence of non-duality. Not two. It appears as though what you are is limited by what you feel and what you see. Your sense of self dictates that you end where your skin ends. That you are made of blood, flesh, and bones. That one body mass is separate from another body mass. Non-duality is radically saying that this is not true. No true awakening can register without two seemingly separate entities becoming one. Life’s entire dream is this dance of a seemingly separate experience. This is the experience life wants to have. It desires the experience of something it could never be – two!

What does this mean for our relationships? What does this mean to how we live our lives?

Here, in non-duality, everything has a right to be just as it is. It no longer needs to take a particular form to continue solidifying your illusory ideas about yourself. It is no longer required for others to appear a certain way to give you a sense of peace, security or love.

Others hold the key for you to be able to unlock the parts of you that are still bound, constricted or seemingly separate. There’s only so much to explore within the confines of the mind until the energy begins to expand into its environment to re-discover its unlimited nature. When the energy no longer feels confined or separate it drops into a deep sense of peace and allowing, here there is compassion. Compassion or love. Compassion no longer wants anything from others. It is only interested in giving, in emanating its true essence. It’s been said over and over again, that no true awakening has occurred unless at a deep and intimate level we have peace with all beings and all humans. This doesn’t necessarily mean that we don’t feel emotions like grief, anger or betrayal – but at the non-dual level, they are happening to no-one. They are arising and they are being watched. Somewhere it is known that the appearance of a situation, conversation or emotion can be trusted. That this is just a dance of life by itself, to itself and for itself. The nature of things is loss – the comings and goings of one thing and another thing. Nothing and no person can be here forever, but the loss of a relationship or another human is only lost to that which is still attached.

These cords are attachments we have to others, to their approval, and to their love come from the sense of being separate. Their origin is from the mind. The mind has utilized the person, the experience of this person to create a dream. When one human dies, it is only the death of our dream about them. This death is still experienced and pain or grief is still lived, but nothing has ever left you. Only your dream has died. In this sense, you are closer to the truth through death. You touch the heart of life here. The same could be said for a break-up or the loss of a job. It is your dream of what the career, or the person, made you that has been lost.

Here – in non-duality – one is continually waking up from the dream in every moment. Awareness is all that is ever happening, the dream continues to combust the moment it arises. That is why terms such as “nothing” or “emptiness” are so commonly used in this topic.

More importantly, the energy that is continually waking up is also continually looking at itself and viewing itself in the dream. Everything you see is you. Your poverty or riches, your love or solitude, your losses or gain…this is all you! In this, you are constantly discovering and rediscovering yourself over and over again, in an infinite amount of ways. Nothing is ever lost and nothing is ever gained. Only ever was the experience of you. All of life, your entire life was only ever you. In modern-day spiritual concepts, this is referred to as the law of attraction, but non-duality takes it a step further and says life is attracting life, to itself, by itself and for itself and for no one. This is the love affair, this is the intimacy, this is where the lines of a “you” and a “me” blur. Nothing can arise without you. No-thing can appear here without you. You are what makes your lover appear, your family, your job, your health, you coming and you going. This is happening only because of you.

The energy, this one energy, is everywhere and everything. It is looking through your eyes and the eyes of your lover or child or friend, it is speaking through your mouth and the mouth of your lover or child or friend, it is feeling through the heart of your lover or child or friend. The most b beautiful practice in non-duality is listening to life, to “your” life, to what is appearing for you. Watching, slowing down, seeing into the heart of life. Everything has the potential to wake you up, over and over again. Everything is screaming the truth to you. Clarity is in everything and everyone, it leaves nothing and no-one untouched.

What role does all this play?

The role of a continual awakeness. The role of a continual aliveness, the role of a constant state of arrival.

What you are looking at is yourself – how deeply can you love it? How deeply can you dissolve into your love, into what you are?

If you are still at war with people in your life, you are still at war with yourself.

Can you let go?

Are you ready to burn?

Exhaustion

This collapse of a separate self refers to the entire illusion of being: that you are someone who exists in time. The mind has done such a wonderful and creative job making this illusion appear real. In the drama of the timeline, the human is responsible for its own life. It is the reason behind relationships, health, career and all of its pursuits. Life energy will indeed ultimately shift back into its place of deep rest. It will ultimately give up and return home, but first, it must completely exhaust itself. It must come to a point of surrender. Essentially, this happens at the gates of physical death. Yet, many nondual teachers refer to “dying before you die.” It must realize that its hands and legs are completely bound in the wild furnace that is life itself. Only then will it truly be able to relax. Only then will it be able to return home.

We exist in problems and because of problems, outside of them, we do not know ourselves. Our mind doesn’t want boundless freedom, because it does not want to die. Death is of no interest to it because its function is identity and attachment. It’s what it knows because that’s what it’s programmed to do. However, there is an alternative in terms of an energetic shift. This navigational energy can very easily relax and let go, however, it is completely counter-intuitive to how it’s been taught to exist for generations. It’s been taught a certain way to be in order to survive. It’s been taught a functioning. Yet, in nonduality, this function completely collapses and the energy is suddenly stuck, caught with no real place to go anymore except to turn back within. It’s so uncomfortable from the perspective of the mind: what will I do and where will I go? Nothing and nowhere. This is just a transitional phase in the awakening process for the energetic structures are exhausting themselves. The energies that have been utilized to survive are slowly and slowly dying away. Ultimately, they will stop because they will see no reasonable or even necessary means to their own existence. For years, it’s possible that the energy will still attempt to seek, but it will increasingly be seen that each time it “makes it” nothing changes. It will exhaust it’s very own self in this process. “And what next?” it will wonder. Nothing. Nothing is next.

Seeing beyond the illusion is a two-part process. Firstly, there is the realization that everything it has ever thought is not true. Secondly, there is the realization, that outside of it’s thinking there is something there. Something free and alive. It is in this exploration of its freedom and aliveness that it begins to rediscover itself completely anew. It is here, right here, that becomes of utmost interest. Outside of this very happening of life itself is only the movement back into the mind, which it has already seen as obsolete. So this is why it’s only other resting place will be to turn back within, to turn back into itself. Here, we rediscover who we are. We may have had ideas, concepts about our identities prior to this, but now, once again we must inquire what is it that’s really here?

Right here is a total mystery. Right here can only ever be that which is arising. Everything else is another movement of the mind. Right here there is only direct experience. Right here is the only place where reality, clarity and true compassion can be found. Everywhere else it will be lost. Everywhere else it will be a dream.

The Stream

A beautiful story I saved for a friend’s wedding.

The stream had flowed through the center of the forest for as long as anyone could remember.

It began as a cold, clear fountain in a fractured hillside, then tumbled down over mossy stones and last year’s autumn leaves.

At the foot of the hill the stream took a course running southeast through tall stands of beeches, maples, and oaks, and by the time it left the forest five miles later it carried a river’s ambitions.

But in the center of the forest it was a watery dream, about ten feet wide and ten inches deep. Fallen logs made bridges for chipmunks, foxes, and children looking for secrets.

Occasional shafts of sunlight revealed freshwater muscles in the silt, crayfish picking over pebbles, water beetles dancing on the surface, and young trout darting among roots, branches, and softly bubbling falls.

The stream was full of life, and full of lessons for those who knew how to see them.

And regarding it silently on the bank stood the master and the student.

The master and the student had arrived at the stream after walking the forest path for nearly two hours.

Every step of the way, the student spoke anxiously of the impending choices that filled his mind with confusion.

Should he travel?

If so, where?

Should he continue his studies?

If so, in what field of knowledge?

Should he learn a new trade, or perhaps join the family business?

Should he save his money, or spend freely and enjoy life to its fullest?

And on, and on, and on. And every step of the way the master only listened.

When they reached the stream the student fell silent.

They stood side by side, watching the water.

Then, pointing to a fallen twig, the master asked, “If you throw that stick into the stream, where will it go?”

The student answered, “It will go downstream, of course.”

But the master shook his head. “No,” he said, “I want you to tell me exactly where it will go.”

The student crouched down on the bank and observed the water carefully.

He noted the paths of leaves, the surge of bubbles, and the sway and drift of weeds growing on the bottom, until he was sure.

“Well,” he said, “If I throw the stick to land at that spot there, it will follow the current between those two rocks, rush over that fall, then swirl in that eddy for a moment, then pass under this branch, and then move off under that fallen log over there.”

The student smiled, supremely confident.

“All right,” the master said. “Throw the stick.”

And the student did.

And it traveled on a course entirely different from the one he had predicted.

They watched the stick drift out of sight. The student shuffled his feet and looked at the ground, but finally met the master’s eyes.

“The important thing,” said the master,” is to throw the stick!”

What Do You Want?

Most conflicts between humans are because one human wants something from the other human and isn’t getting it. Underneath the request “Do this” or “Do that” for me is a deeper, critical, primal or energetic need for either freedom, stability, love and acceptance, happiness and so forth.

Therefore one human is continually attempting to get one or more of these things from another human. If there is a dynamic where both humans intersect from a strong “wanting” energy, so for example: if you want stability and your partner wants love and acceptance the dynamic will go something like this,

“I will not give you love and acceptance, if you do not give me stability.” And then at the same token, the other person will play out “I will not give you stability, unless you give me love and acceptance.”

In most cases this becomes a strong energetic current between both parties and results in conflict. When there is conflict like this, both parties will be out of alignment with reality . Not being in alignment with reality results in seeking in order to get back to the truth, back to the reality, back to the love. So, it’s possible the partner will leave when this want is not being fulfilled. However, the seeking will not cease and be projected on to the next external thing that can provide the stability: another person, a job, money, a new home and so forth.

This dynamic is a result of conditioning and can be seen most clearly when one has woken up to the true nature of form. When it is truly seen that you and I are one, it can also be seen that I am only attempting to acquire something that I myself already possess, yet am not aware that I have.

Let’s continue with the example of stability.

One way to look at this is: Kate wants stability from herself. However, can Kate really give herself stability when the very nature of Kate is itself a fleeting and non fixed energy? In one moment, Kate may be able to provide stability for herself but what happens when she fails? What happens when she, like life, spontaneously shifts? Kate was never a fixed entity. There was never a consistent Kate. In fact, Kate was only ever an energy that appeared from a void of nothing and expressed a spontaneous array of likes, dislikes, talents and behaviours. Kate then was referred to as “Kate” and began to identify with these traits and the energy grew stronger until it began to “believe” that is was anything other than a complete and utter void.

I don’t mean to scare any readers with the word “void”, which in the non dual circles, acquires a reputation of referring to nothingness or death – terms, which in duality, create unease. What is referred to in the word “void” is flow.

Stability, like love and acceptance, can and will only ever be found in your own flow. But flow is not something that someone can cage or grasp and hold on to. For if something can be given, it can also be taken away. Therefore, that which is, was and always will be present is being sought. That which has been watching, listening.

Your true nature doesn’t want anything from this world, because it already has everything. It is everything! This silent, witnessing, this soft innocence, has always been waiting and watching for it’s energy to come back to itself which is everywhere and everything. This energy can never, ever take anything because it is continually always receiving purely by being a witness to life. It receives everything, just by it’s very existence, because it is everything! Once it is seen that you are everything, it is also simultaneously seen that your true home has never been left! It was always appearing in plain sight and the world of form or illusion actually made it possible for you to see yourself. It actually was never obstructing your true nature, it was only ever illuminating it.

What else could we want from this? What else could we possibly want when everything is had? This is bliss. This is complete and total fulfillment from which only giving can come. From this fulfillment, true giving just spontaneously arises. The giving of one’s true self. Giving which now, cannot want anything in return.

Flow is the spontaneous arising of every moment. That which you want is right here in this flow! It’s right HERE!!!!!!!

Listen, Listen, Listen to My Heart Song…

An ego deconstruction requires the seeing through beliefs that are out of alignment with reality.

Inadvertently, appearances will shift and phase out experientially as a result of this readjustment.

This is happening in story land. Yet, story land is still reality to the extent that it is seen through as a holographic projection from the one source, as the one source.

This simply means that denying or rejecting the causal world is out of alignment with what the one source, the one energy is really interested in; which is honesty.

How painful this can be! This process can result in physical ailments, depression, anxiety, confusion, disorientation, extreme poverty or loss. This is not the romantic aspect of awakening. Yet, it’s beautiful!

The beliefs that once held your reality in place have died along with the identity that has been woken up from.

The personal energy is no longer on solid ground. It once had thought to find comfort in, distractions, other peoples ideas and opinions. Now, all interest in this has shifted inward into the boundless, infinite, unknown space.

People can and will get stuck here if they’re still not willing to surrender and allow this fluctuating process to occur. In a sense, they are in no mans land. They no longer belong to their old world, the new world is not yet available and the world they live in now is no longer one they can trust. However, this is all mind activity. The energy has already put the process of ego deconstruction in place. There really is no turning back now. You can’t undo this process and you can’t “fall back asleep”.

The best advice that me and many non duality speakers will give you is to follow your body. If doing nothing feels good, do nothing. This process is imminent. It may appear to the ego structure as wasteful or a dead end, but in fact what is occurring is a deeper and more profound awakening.

When Jesus heard this, He said to him, “One thing you still lack; sell all that you possess and distribute it to the poor, and you shall have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.” But when he had heard these things, he became very sad, for he was extremely rich. And Jesus looked at him and said, “How hard it is for those who are wealthy to enter the kingdom of God! For it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.”

This bible verse is beautiful. How can the personal energy which is so dense move back into a groundless, empty love where nothing can be had? Where everything is continually lost? Where there is no separation between the sound of the door closing or the birth of a child?

Life still happens and the experiences of excitement, grief, achievement still appear. The difference now is that they are happening to no one. They are appearing in space, for space and by space.

Listening to satsang and getting into non duality is a very attractive energetic shift for the bodies’ experiencing these seeming shifts. That wisdom from the mind no longer is effective and now the wisdom of the body must take over.

So, my advice to those experiencing ego deconstruction is follow your flow. Follow what the body wants. Listen to your body. Leave what needs to be left and go where you need to go. Whether it’s to sit on the couch or to walk around the neighbourhood. Listen, listen deeply as you are singing the heart’s deep song, a song as old as time, a song that has no beginning, middle or end. <3

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