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Everything is You

Life is your mirror. Relationships are your mirror. What you see, what you hear and what you experience is in fact, yourself. This is the entire essence of non-duality. Not two. It appears as though what you are is limited by what you feel and what you see. Your sense of self dictates that you end where your skin ends. That you are made of blood, flesh, and bones. That one body mass is separate from another body mass. Non-duality is radically saying that this is not true. No true awakening can register without two seemingly separate entities becoming one. Life’s entire dream is this dance of a seemingly separate experience. This is the experience life wants to have. It desires the experience of something it could never be – two!

What does this mean for our relationships? What does this mean to how we live our lives?

Here, in non-duality, everything has a right to be just as it is. It no longer needs to take a particular form to continue solidifying your illusory ideas about yourself. It is no longer required for others to appear a certain way to give you a sense of peace, security or love.

Others hold the key for you to be able to unlock the parts of you that are still bound, constricted or seemingly separate. There’s only so much to explore within the confines of the mind until the energy begins to expand into its environment to re-discover its unlimited nature. When the energy no longer feels confined or separate it drops into a deep sense of peace and allowing, here there is compassion. Compassion or love. Compassion no longer wants anything from others. It is only interested in giving, in emanating its true essence. It’s been said over and over again, that no true awakening has occurred unless at a deep and intimate level we have peace with all beings and all humans. This doesn’t necessarily mean that we don’t feel emotions like grief, anger or betrayal – but at the non-dual level, they are happening to no-one. They are arising and they are being watched. Somewhere it is known that the appearance of a situation, conversation or emotion can be trusted. That this is just a dance of life by itself, to itself and for itself. The nature of things is loss – the comings and goings of one thing and another thing. Nothing and no person can be here forever, but the loss of a relationship or another human is only lost to that which is still attached.

These cords are attachments we have to others, to their approval, and to their love come from the sense of being separate. Their origin is from the mind. The mind has utilized the person, the experience of this person to create a dream. When one human dies, it is only the death of our dream about them. This death is still experienced and pain or grief is still lived, but nothing has ever left you. Only your dream has died. In this sense, you are closer to the truth through death. You touch the heart of life here. The same could be said for a break-up or the loss of a job. It is your dream of what the career, or the person, made you that has been lost.

Here – in non-duality – one is continually waking up from the dream in every moment. Awareness is all that is ever happening, the dream continues to combust the moment it arises. That is why terms such as “nothing” or “emptiness” are so commonly used in this topic.

More importantly, the energy that is continually waking up is also continually looking at itself and viewing itself in the dream. Everything you see is you. Your poverty or riches, your love or solitude, your losses or gain…this is all you! In this, you are constantly discovering and rediscovering yourself over and over again, in an infinite amount of ways. Nothing is ever lost and nothing is ever gained. Only ever was the experience of you. All of life, your entire life was only ever you. In modern-day spiritual concepts, this is referred to as the law of attraction, but non-duality takes it a step further and says life is attracting life, to itself, by itself and for itself and for no one. This is the love affair, this is the intimacy, this is where the lines of a “you” and a “me” blur. Nothing can arise without you. No-thing can appear here without you. You are what makes your lover appear, your family, your job, your health, you coming and you going. This is happening only because of you.

The energy, this one energy, is everywhere and everything. It is looking through your eyes and the eyes of your lover or child or friend, it is speaking through your mouth and the mouth of your lover or child or friend, it is feeling through the heart of your lover or child or friend. The most b beautiful practice in non-duality is listening to life, to “your” life, to what is appearing for you. Watching, slowing down, seeing into the heart of life. Everything has the potential to wake you up, over and over again. Everything is screaming the truth to you. Clarity is in everything and everyone, it leaves nothing and no-one untouched.

What role does all this play?

The role of a continual awakeness. The role of a continual aliveness, the role of a constant state of arrival.

What you are looking at is yourself – how deeply can you love it? How deeply can you dissolve into your love, into what you are?

If you are still at war with people in your life, you are still at war with yourself.

Can you let go?

Are you ready to burn?

Exhaustion

This collapse of a separate self refers to the entire illusion of being: that you are someone who exists in time. The mind has done such a wonderful and creative job making this illusion appear real. In the drama of the timeline, the human is responsible for its own life. It is the reason behind relationships, health, career and all of its pursuits. Life energy will indeed ultimately shift back into its place of deep rest. It will ultimately give up and return home, but first, it must completely exhaust itself. It must come to a point of surrender. Essentially, this happens at the gates of physical death. Yet, many nondual teachers refer to “dying before you die.” It must realize that its hands and legs are completely bound in the wild furnace that is life itself. Only then will it truly be able to relax. Only then will it be able to return home.

We exist in problems and because of problems, outside of them, we do not know ourselves. Our mind doesn’t want boundless freedom, because it does not want to die. Death is of no interest to it because its function is identity and attachment. It’s what it knows because that’s what it’s programmed to do. However, there is an alternative in terms of an energetic shift. This navigational energy can very easily relax and let go, however, it is completely counter-intuitive to how it’s been taught to exist for generations. It’s been taught a certain way to be in order to survive. It’s been taught a functioning. Yet, in nonduality, this function completely collapses and the energy is suddenly stuck, caught with no real place to go anymore except to turn back within. It’s so uncomfortable from the perspective of the mind: what will I do and where will I go? Nothing and nowhere. This is just a transitional phase in the awakening process for the energetic structures are exhausting themselves. The energies that have been utilized to survive are slowly and slowly dying away. Ultimately, they will stop because they will see no reasonable or even necessary means to their own existence. For years, it’s possible that the energy will still attempt to seek, but it will increasingly be seen that each time it “makes it” nothing changes. It will exhaust it’s very own self in this process. “And what next?” it will wonder. Nothing. Nothing is next.

Seeing beyond the illusion is a two-part process. Firstly, there is the realization that everything it has ever thought is not true. Secondly, there is the realization, that outside of it’s thinking there is something there. Something free and alive. It is in this exploration of its freedom and aliveness that it begins to rediscover itself completely anew. It is here, right here, that becomes of utmost interest. Outside of this very happening of life itself is only the movement back into the mind, which it has already seen as obsolete. So this is why it’s only other resting place will be to turn back within, to turn back into itself. Here, we rediscover who we are. We may have had ideas, concepts about our identities prior to this, but now, once again we must inquire what is it that’s really here?

Right here is a total mystery. Right here can only ever be that which is arising. Everything else is another movement of the mind. Right here there is only direct experience. Right here is the only place where reality, clarity and true compassion can be found. Everywhere else it will be lost. Everywhere else it will be a dream.

The Stream

A beautiful story I saved for a friend’s wedding.

The stream had flowed through the center of the forest for as long as anyone could remember.

It began as a cold, clear fountain in a fractured hillside, then tumbled down over mossy stones and last year’s autumn leaves.

At the foot of the hill the stream took a course running southeast through tall stands of beeches, maples, and oaks, and by the time it left the forest five miles later it carried a river’s ambitions.

But in the center of the forest it was a watery dream, about ten feet wide and ten inches deep. Fallen logs made bridges for chipmunks, foxes, and children looking for secrets.

Occasional shafts of sunlight revealed freshwater muscles in the silt, crayfish picking over pebbles, water beetles dancing on the surface, and young trout darting among roots, branches, and softly bubbling falls.

The stream was full of life, and full of lessons for those who knew how to see them.

And regarding it silently on the bank stood the master and the student.

The master and the student had arrived at the stream after walking the forest path for nearly two hours.

Every step of the way, the student spoke anxiously of the impending choices that filled his mind with confusion.

Should he travel?

If so, where?

Should he continue his studies?

If so, in what field of knowledge?

Should he learn a new trade, or perhaps join the family business?

Should he save his money, or spend freely and enjoy life to its fullest?

And on, and on, and on. And every step of the way the master only listened.

When they reached the stream the student fell silent.

They stood side by side, watching the water.

Then, pointing to a fallen twig, the master asked, “If you throw that stick into the stream, where will it go?”

The student answered, “It will go downstream, of course.”

But the master shook his head. “No,” he said, “I want you to tell me exactly where it will go.”

The student crouched down on the bank and observed the water carefully.

He noted the paths of leaves, the surge of bubbles, and the sway and drift of weeds growing on the bottom, until he was sure.

“Well,” he said, “If I throw the stick to land at that spot there, it will follow the current between those two rocks, rush over that fall, then swirl in that eddy for a moment, then pass under this branch, and then move off under that fallen log over there.”

The student smiled, supremely confident.

“All right,” the master said. “Throw the stick.”

And the student did.

And it traveled on a course entirely different from the one he had predicted.

They watched the stick drift out of sight. The student shuffled his feet and looked at the ground, but finally met the master’s eyes.

“The important thing,” said the master,” is to throw the stick!”

What Do You Want?

Most conflicts between humans are because one human wants something from the other human and isn’t getting it. Underneath the request “Do this” or “Do that” for me is a deeper, critical, primal or energetic need for either freedom, stability, love and acceptance, happiness and so forth.

Therefore one human is continually attempting to get one or more of these things from another human. If there is a dynamic where both humans intersect from a strong “wanting” energy, so for example: if you want stability and your partner wants love and acceptance the dynamic will go something like this,

“I will not give you love and acceptance, if you do not give me stability.” And then at the same token, the other person will play out “I will not give you stability, unless you give me love and acceptance.”

In most cases this becomes a strong energetic current between both parties and results in conflict. When there is conflict like this, both parties will be out of alignment with reality . Not being in alignment with reality results in seeking in order to get back to the truth, back to the reality, back to the love. So, it’s possible the partner will leave when this want is not being fulfilled. However, the seeking will not cease and be projected on to the next external thing that can provide the stability: another person, a job, money, a new home and so forth.

This dynamic is a result of conditioning and can be seen most clearly when one has woken up to the true nature of form. When it is truly seen that you and I are one, it can also be seen that I am only attempting to acquire something that I myself already possess, yet am not aware that I have.

Let’s continue with the example of stability.

One way to look at this is: Kate wants stability from herself. However, can Kate really give herself stability when the very nature of Kate is itself a fleeting and non fixed energy? In one moment, Kate may be able to provide stability for herself but what happens when she fails? What happens when she, like life, spontaneously shifts? Kate was never a fixed entity. There was never a consistent Kate. In fact, Kate was only ever an energy that appeared from a void of nothing and expressed a spontaneous array of likes, dislikes, talents and behaviours. Kate then was referred to as “Kate” and began to identify with these traits and the energy grew stronger until it began to “believe” that is was anything other than a complete and utter void.

I don’t mean to scare any readers with the word “void”, which in the non dual circles, acquires a reputation of referring to nothingness or death – terms, which in duality, create unease. What is referred to in the word “void” is flow.

Stability, like love and acceptance, can and will only ever be found in your own flow. But flow is not something that someone can cage or grasp and hold on to. For if something can be given, it can also be taken away. Therefore, that which is, was and always will be present is being sought. That which has been watching, listening.

Your true nature doesn’t want anything from this world, because it already has everything. It is everything! This silent, witnessing, this soft innocence, has always been waiting and watching for it’s energy to come back to itself which is everywhere and everything. This energy can never, ever take anything because it is continually always receiving purely by being a witness to life. It receives everything, just by it’s very existence, because it is everything! Once it is seen that you are everything, it is also simultaneously seen that your true home has never been left! It was always appearing in plain sight and the world of form or illusion actually made it possible for you to see yourself. It actually was never obstructing your true nature, it was only ever illuminating it.

What else could we want from this? What else could we possibly want when everything is had? This is bliss. This is complete and total fulfillment from which only giving can come. From this fulfillment, true giving just spontaneously arises. The giving of one’s true self. Giving which now, cannot want anything in return.

Flow is the spontaneous arising of every moment. That which you want is right here in this flow! It’s right HERE!!!!!!!

Listen, Listen, Listen to My Heart Song…

An ego deconstruction requires the seeing through beliefs that are out of alignment with reality.

Inadvertently, appearances will shift and phase out experientially as a result of this readjustment.

This is happening in story land. Yet, story land is still reality to the extent that it is seen through as a holographic projection from the one source, as the one source.

This simply means that denying or rejecting the causal world is out of alignment with what the one source, the one energy is really interested in; which is honesty.

How painful this can be! This process can result in physical ailments, depression, anxiety, confusion, disorientation, extreme poverty or loss. This is not the romantic aspect of awakening. Yet, it’s beautiful!

The beliefs that once held your reality in place have died along with the identity that has been woken up from.

The personal energy is no longer on solid ground. It once had thought to find comfort in, distractions, other peoples ideas and opinions. Now, all interest in this has shifted inward into the boundless, infinite, unknown space.

People can and will get stuck here if they’re still not willing to surrender and allow this fluctuating process to occur. In a sense, they are in no mans land. They no longer belong to their old world, the new world is not yet available and the world they live in now is no longer one they can trust. However, this is all mind activity. The energy has already put the process of ego deconstruction in place. There really is no turning back now. You can’t undo this process and you can’t “fall back asleep”.

The best advice that me and many non duality speakers will give you is to follow your body. If doing nothing feels good, do nothing. This process is imminent. It may appear to the ego structure as wasteful or a dead end, but in fact what is occurring is a deeper and more profound awakening.

When Jesus heard this, He said to him, “One thing you still lack; sell all that you possess and distribute it to the poor, and you shall have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.” But when he had heard these things, he became very sad, for he was extremely rich. And Jesus looked at him and said, “How hard it is for those who are wealthy to enter the kingdom of God! For it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God.”

This bible verse is beautiful. How can the personal energy which is so dense move back into a groundless, empty love where nothing can be had? Where everything is continually lost? Where there is no separation between the sound of the door closing or the birth of a child?

Life still happens and the experiences of excitement, grief, achievement still appear. The difference now is that they are happening to no one. They are appearing in space, for space and by space.

Listening to satsang and getting into non duality is a very attractive energetic shift for the bodies’ experiencing these seeming shifts. That wisdom from the mind no longer is effective and now the wisdom of the body must take over.

So, my advice to those experiencing ego deconstruction is follow your flow. Follow what the body wants. Listen to your body. Leave what needs to be left and go where you need to go. Whether it’s to sit on the couch or to walk around the neighbourhood. Listen, listen deeply as you are singing the heart’s deep song, a song as old as time, a song that has no beginning, middle or end. <3

Reality is Not Two

Just a mere glimpse of reality is so strong, that it has the capacity to completely change your life around. The bast change it ultimately makes, for anyone and everyone, is the beginning of a return home to reality.

So many people feel alone, misplaced and long for a deep sense of belonging. This is why we create communities, congregations, friendships, relationships, families and of course, follow our dreams and passions. We are communal and creative as a species so these are very natural movements for the human race. Why then can the human feel so alone and misplaced even when one or more of these things is had?

The message of non duality is that there are NOT TWO. There is not a subject viewing an object. There is not a Kate wanting her partner to wash the dishes, or a driver cutting her off on the freeway, or the parents disapproving of her behavior. Non duality says that this is not true.

This is completely radical!!

In fact, it is so radical, that most people likely completely either turn away from this message or suffer in it. They suffer in it, because they may try to live non duality in duality. This doesn’t work and causes confusion and often depression. Don’t do it. It is often said in this subject: use this thorn [non duality] to take out all the other thorns and then throw this thorn away!

So, if there is not two, if there is not a subject or an object, what is there?

This, my friends is the most beautiful adventure, inquiry and investigation that one can have with themselves. What is here? What is right here? What will never leave you? After all the forms come and go and change in your life, what is here that never leaves? Please investigate this for yourself. Do not take my words for it.

What is right here is reality. The mere glimpse of reality is so earth shattering that it will quite literally dissolve everything that you know and once knew. It will actually pulverize everything completely that is obstructing it’s path. This is literally absolute love – absolute oneness, beyond any concept of oneness. It can be called fullness, nothingness, emptiness, love – whatever you want to call it.

But reality is always here. It does not need to be sought. This is the irony of your search and your investigation. This realization is so funny, so humorous it’s almost a joke how simple and obvious it is. Many people call this moment enlightenment.

Everything is continually being lost. The here and now is a vacuum. This moment is the ultimate silence. Yet, this is a silence full of love, of joy, of humor. I don’t even know how to describe it – one almost wants to laugh. You can’t really be serious with it because it’s so incredibly…

Everything is continually arising and being lost in total silence.

There is this apparent story, your story. The story of your life. The story of what you did, where you went, who you met. It seems to be an accumulation of thoughts, feelings and memories so it feels real and it feels consistent. But it’s a dream, an overlay, a hologram being projected out of complete silence. Everything is coming out of this silence, or this moment, SPONTANEOUSLY. It’s coming out of right here. It’s like a wild animal. Instinctual, not domesticted, foreign in a sense. There’s no way to predict what can arise out of this moment. It’s virtually impossible. This is why:

Thoughts create reality. It appears that thoughts are being had and creating a result – reality. But, actually, thoughts are appearing from reality. Reality is birthing the thoughts.

Reality is not only birthing thoughts. It is also birthing an idea of a you, the idea of your partner, the idea of you relating to them through words, feelings and actions. But this is not reality. This is appearing in reality.

Reality is everything that is appearing. It’s not just these words on the screen right now, the light in the room, the sounds of the refrigerator but also the cricket outside the window, the ducks quacking outside, the presence of my lover. If you try and cage it, hold on to it, control it – you will fail – because reality is everything.

Mind Games

When the human is still identified with their thoughts, their thoughts are taken to be who they are.

The result is that it’s energy is singlehandedly focused on getting.

Getting a better house, a better car, a better partner, better skin, better conditions, better bank account balance, better environment.

The problem is that the energy intends to acquire these betterments, because it believes the result will be a feeling of peace or satiation. Obviously, this doesn’t happen. Form can never fulfill the sense of separateness or lack with peace.

It must be recognized that seeking is occurring and that it ultimately results in loss. What can be had, can also be lost.

Therefore, what the energy really wants is to find it’s way back home. It wants to find that which can never be lost.

Home is a return to itself. The energy wants to return to itself. It wants to pack it’s bags up from the external world, turn within and come home.

Only when it’s true home is found, will the energy then be able to return back into the world of form. Yet, this time when it returns it has significantly shifted. It is no longer concentrated in thought, rather it has relaxed into that which thought appears in, that which is watching thought.

You are watching your thoughts. But they are not your thoughts, they are thoughts appearing in what you are.

Once it is seen that you are that which is watching your thoughts, your thoughts no longer are making your decisions. Thoughts become a non distant backdrop and are no longer the primary interest of awareness. In fact, awareness has greatly expanded because it is no longer being focused into thought. Awareness is no longer seeing the world through the narration of thoughts. It is seeing the wold, for the first time, as it really is.

This initial loss of control can be very frightening for people who have this experience. Whether you realize it or not, your thoughts are how you remain in control of your life. What happens is that you realize that not only are you not in control, but you were never in control. This process is what I’m going to refer to as the deconstruction of the ego, or the perpetual dropping away of conditioning.

This is a disorienting and uncomfortable period. More so if identification is stronger in a particular mind-body mechanism.

My advice is that this should be endured. What is occurring is important. The body is, layer by layer, letting go of that which has been obstructing it’s authentic, unique expression. While this disorientation can take years, ultimately, if you’ve had a true awakening, you will notice there is an underlying peace and trust during this period regardless of the static and chaos of the mind. The mind is loosing it’s grip, it’s loosing control.

What does this mean?

As I mentioned, at some point you will once again be beckoned out into the world. Yet, the world as you once knew it has ended. You are no longer able to function under false premise. Everything you are: the good, the bad, the ugly is now apparent and transparent. There is no longer an energy attempting to find cover. That which once had power over you – the fear of your partner leaving you, the fear of job loss, an obsession with passions, passions in general, have shifted. Everything has become more simple, more ordinary, more basic.

And this, my friends, is the most beautiful part of this message: that, now, this moment, this simple, ordinary moment of you drinking tea, stopping to say hello to a chatty neighbor, driving on a freeway, waiting in line at the grocery store – this moment is beautiful, it’s miraculous and it’s enough.

That is your gift from an awakening. Yet, it is not your gift, it just the falling back in to things as they really truly are.

Stop

When thought is taken to be who you are, there can only be peace with getting. In getting there is inevitably loss. Whatever can be gotten, will also be lost. There is no freedom in this getting. Thought is only interested in getting. Through the “getting game” it believes that it will make it home to peace, to love and to completion.

That which occurs once what is sought has been gotten is peace. But not the way peace was expected to be. It is not understood fully that the peace that has resulted from the “getting game” is actually what you are. Anytime peace is gotten in the external world of form – whether it’s a bike ride, lovemaking, a promotion, a conversation, an aha moment, a prayer – it will also then be lost.

The peace that you are is the peace that will never be lost.

It is the peace that needs not be sought. It was, is and always will be right here, once your thoughts stop.

Stop.

Stop.

Stop.

It’s really that easy.
Just stop the thoughts, stop the getting, stop the seeking, stop the grasping, the holding on and the control, just stop for one moment. Just one moment is enough for you to see, to remember the peace that is never lost.

Coming back to the silence is a dropping away of that which has been covered it up. This silence cannot be found through thought. Your thoughts about what’s happening in your life right now, what happened in your life in the past, what might happen in the future, other people’s thoughts about your present,
past and future…all this thought is covering up the silence of your being.

Just stop.

Stop

Stop.

Stop.

Stop for long enough to remember that which doesn’t need to be fixed, or controlled, or understood. This remembering is all you need. This remembering is life itself. The grand mystery that is running this performance, this dance of “maya”. Maya appears in it, therefore it is also it.

This remembering will erase that which is doing the seeking. It will drive itself into the truth that it is. In story land, in time, this might take a moment or it might take years, but the silence will forever only want of it’s true nature, it’s very self, it’s very being, the love that it is, was and always will be – this unchanging, unmoving absoluteness that never needed you to change or to fix it. It just only ever wanted you to stop.

Don’t worry about what it took you to hear this message, whether you will “remember it, whether it will change anything.

Throw all that crap away and just stop.

This is your invitation, this is your own soul’s whisper, for you and I were never really two anyway.

This can be the end for you right now. Only ever, here. Here. In this moment. You can only stop right here.

 

THIS IS IT!

It’s easy to hear this profound teaching: You are not your thoughts.

However, it’s actual registration in one’s awareness permanently shifts that which is experiencing life.

If you are not your thoughts, then who are you? What else is here?

Awakening is not the permanent turning off of thought. Thought is still experienced. If there are beliefs attached to the thoughts, the experiences can be much more intense.

Adyashanti says the most beautiful thing: “There is no such thing as a true belief.”

Once awareness EXPERIENCES that it is not thought, all beliefs become lies. The truth is continually seen in everything.

But it is being seen by an empty looking. The personal energy still arises in this empty looking and it is now being watched.

Most of the experiences of no thought result in an oscillation of energy. What has been seen cannot be unseen, yet the personal energy is still ironing out, acting out or playing out the dream. This period of oscillation can take years. But the most valuable and beautiful thing has already been done. There is no longer an experience of you, just the continual coming back to what is one’s true home: THIS.

THIS is so ordinary and so simple: the clock ticking, the car engine humming, the moving up the stairs, the pounding of the heart beat, the watching of the butterflies, the shifting weather, the feverish pitch of someone’s voice, the strong currents of energy, the insomnia, the tiredness….

This is always what was looked for.

In THIS there might be creativity, inspiration, productivity, wealth, romance…any myriad of pleasures. But the pleasures were never that which has been looked for.

In fact, what was looked for was loss.

Everything is in a continual state of loss. Everything is on it’s way out. This is the grand illusion directing this beautiful dream.

The suffering is mostly due to the fact that one is holding on to that which will inevitably be lost: the lover, the beautiful skin, the healthy lungs, the job, the conversation. This moment is continually on it’s way out. Nothing can be had here. It’s completely empty. It is full of emptiness.

What can be gotten here? Ironically, nothing. And nothing is always what was looked for in the search that led to suffering. The search that caused the control issues, the lies, the desperation, the stories, the strain and immense struggle to keep and maintain one’s structures of the dream.

It’s possible that the greater the suffering that is being experienced, the more likely one will be to seek out their true nature. But at the same token, everything is continually expressing your true nature in broad daylight. You are everything and your true nature never needed to be found. This was maybe only ever about a gentle remembering. A simple “Oh, yes. Aha!”

Life will continue to take everything from you. I’m sorry if this is a painful message, but it’s essence is a beautiful one. It’s essence is one that is whispering and calling for you to find that which is never lost, that which never changes. That which is untouchable by what others say, what others do, what you want, what you don’t want. Amidst this dance here it is: It’s THIS.

The bird song, the fly on the wall, the feel of the air on your skin, the parched lips, the embrace between a loved one.

If you’re here you’ll have to take it all. You can’t keep any of it out. That which you are is so full of love that it is able to contain everything. It has everything in it. It leaves nothing out.

If you are shutting life out in any way, you’ll miss what is right in front of you. In everything. It’s right here in your pushing. In your leaving, in your arriving.

Eventually every form must die. But that which you are is the only thing that can’t be lost. That which you are is that which contains death, yet it is also death.

I can’t write about this in any other most direct way. What is being said here is that you are EVERYTHING. This is the freedom. This is the love.

THIS IS IT.

Why Am I Suffering?

Why am I suffering is irrelevant in the face of the question, “Who Am I?”

What you are is not suffering. What you are is untouched by your thoughts, your beliefs and your stories about how broken you are, how messed up your life is, how the world is unjust and how you got the shittier end of the deal.

What you are is most likely not being recognized, even though it is all there is.

Why is your true nature not being recognized by you? This is actually irrelevant. Who would recognize your true nature if your true nature is all there is?

Energetically self realization is the abiding or non-abiding experience of the energy that is focused in thought ceasing and falling back into itself as God, energy, awareness, Love – whatever you want to call “true nature.”

Through religion, spirituality and centuries of concepts humans have come to project an image onto what God or awakening is, what it feels like, what it does, how it changes your life. This idea is grasped – held on to and thus it is misunderstood that what you are never needed to be looked for. It was simply a relaxing back into ones own being – one’s own beingness.

Quite often, this is a frustrating message. “How the hell am I suppose to recognize this when I’m angry?” “Or grieving” “Or bored” “Or heartbroken”? On the one hand, what you are is everything. So you are all these things just as much as you are that which you’ve come to understand as peace, love and bliss. The difference is that post awakening there can no longer be any real identification with the shifting temporal states of experience. Whether that’s emotional or mental. Point blank – it’s just like watching a movie. Furthermore, someone who’s had an awakening can be really annoying and difficult to deal with. An awakened person is not necessarily this image of perfect and divine bliss. Sure, there is an underlying unbroken peace evident in an abiding awakening such as what we see with Ananda Moyi Ma or Ramana Maharishi, but in most cases the falling away of identification undergoes a process of adjustment. The energy that described itself as “suffering” is now layer by layer undoing years of conditioning and lies. This just seems to be a natural byproduct and result of realization. Arguments or conflicts with an awakened human can be really confusing. An awake individual will feel emotions fully and completely, however they’re also able to drop the experience almost instantly.

In awakening, very little can be held on to. Awakening really is about loss not gain. It is impossible to gain anything with a true awakening.

That which is suffering is a dream. Suffering is the holding on to life. It is the continual attempt at gain.

So, “What do I do when I am angry or grieving?” you might ask. A great practice that I’ve heard multiple teachers refer to is the energetic shift and focus from the anger onto the space in which the anger is happening – the backdrop of awareness. This doesn’t mean that you can’t or won’t feel the thoughts, beliefs and emotions behind an experience like grief or anger. However, the more consistently the energy is shifted and refocused onto its spacious, vast, still and unmoving back drop the easier and more effective the process of reconditioning will become.

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