In awakening, the equalization of appearances occurs all at once.
As one begins the loss of personal identity, there cannot be any more filters. Nothing can be left out. In fact, all the neurosis and compulsion of the mind falls forward like a tsunami. It’s impossible to ignore and all things demand examination. In some cases, the mind will continue to attempt to “hash” out it’s activity and in other’s there will be a complete disinterest in the disentanglement. Just its pure happening There comes a point in which the personality might adjust, however this decentralization of conditioning cannot and will not make sense by or be understood by the mind. In a way, ones hands are tied.
Once the seeing occurs, the process which is undergone is completely up to the wiring of the unique mechanism in which the seeing has occurred. However, the destination is only one. Inevitably, the seeker falls away and what has been seen cannot be unseen. There is no longer ground under ones feet so to speak. One can no longer return to that which was.
Equalization refers to the loss of importance of one thing over another.
Life will have to let itself in. In this phenomena – you (or that which you think you are) cannot choose the boundaries. You do not exist and therefore neither do boundaries. Life will crush you.
All that is appearing is HERE and that which it is appearing in is so vast, so free and so still. The sensations, the sounds, the feelings are complete innocence. They are untouched by what you think about them, yet what you think about them is what they are. You and them are one in the same. The collapse of that which is looking simultaneously collapses that which is being looked at. The subject and object relationship no longer exists. There is just the seeing, just the hearing, just the one SELF. Ramana Maharshi does a terrific job describing this: “ I cannot show you God or enable you to see God because God is not an object that can be seen. God is the subject…The subject and object appear together and disappear together.”
What is being perceived and that which is perceiving is the one thing and the experience of this is partly dependent on the how strong one’s personal identity is.
The experience of the seeing is an act of complete grace. What I’m saying is that it is not a one-off deal, it is a process. Many seekers have an experience of oneness through grace, drugs, meditation etc, but this realization shakes the core of ones being. A true experience ensures one cannot and will not ever be the same again.
A genuine search for the Truth undoubtedly results in seeing as that which is WANTS to be seen. It is not hiding. God is not playing hide and seek with you. You are playing hide and seek in God, as God. Yet, you are obstructing the seeing. Until “you” fall away seeing cannot happen. And once it does, nothing will be left out any more. This is a process for those that are willing to loose it all. No exceptions.