Exhaustion

This collapse of a separate self refers to the entire illusion of being: that you are someone who exists in time. The mind has done such a wonderful and creative job making this illusion appear real. In the drama of the timeline, the human is responsible for its own life. It is the reason behind relationships, health, career and all of its pursuits. Life energy will indeed ultimately shift back into its place of deep rest. It will ultimately give up and return home, but first, it must completely exhaust itself. It must come to a point of surrender. Essentially, this happens at the gates of physical death. Yet, many nondual teachers refer to “dying before you die.” It must realize that its hands and legs are completely bound in the wild furnace that is life itself. Only then will it truly be able to relax. Only then will it be able to return home.

We exist in problems and because of problems, outside of them, we do not know ourselves. Our mind doesn’t want boundless freedom, because it does not want to die. Death is of no interest to it because its function is identity and attachment. It’s what it knows because that’s what it’s programmed to do. However, there is an alternative in terms of an energetic shift. This navigational energy can very easily relax and let go, however, it is completely counter-intuitive to how it’s been taught to exist for generations. It’s been taught a certain way to be in order to survive. It’s been taught a functioning. Yet, in nonduality, this function completely collapses and the energy is suddenly stuck, caught with no real place to go anymore except to turn back within. It’s so uncomfortable from the perspective of the mind: what will I do and where will I go? Nothing and nowhere. This is just a transitional phase in the awakening process for the energetic structures are exhausting themselves. The energies that have been utilized to survive are slowly and slowly dying away. Ultimately, they will stop because they will see no reasonable or even necessary means to their own existence. For years, it’s possible that the energy will still attempt to seek, but it will increasingly be seen that each time it “makes it” nothing changes. It will exhaust it’s very own self in this process. “And what next?” it will wonder. Nothing. Nothing is next.

Seeing beyond the illusion is a two-part process. Firstly, there is the realization that everything it has ever thought is not true. Secondly, there is the realization, that outside of it’s thinking there is something there. Something free and alive. It is in this exploration of its freedom and aliveness that it begins to rediscover itself completely anew. It is here, right here, that becomes of utmost interest. Outside of this very happening of life itself is only the movement back into the mind, which it has already seen as obsolete. So this is why it’s only other resting place will be to turn back within, to turn back into itself. Here, we rediscover who we are. We may have had ideas, concepts about our identities prior to this, but now, once again we must inquire what is it that’s really here?

Right here is a total mystery. Right here can only ever be that which is arising. Everything else is another movement of the mind. Right here there is only direct experience. Right here is the only place where reality, clarity and true compassion can be found. Everywhere else it will be lost. Everywhere else it will be a dream.

Posted on: March 21, 2019, by : kate

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