I have lived in the U.S for most of my life with my parents and brother. The rest of my family has lived in Europe. My family and I have officially received very sad news. For the sake of respect, I will discuss the situation in a general manner. I cried and I cried last night. I could feel that my family was also crying. The situation that has presented itself has come out of the blue and feels like someone just dissolved the ground from beneath us. However, instead of feeling light, it feels like falling deeply and quickly into a big black hole.
In this moment my entire childhood passed before my eyes. All the family relationships and dynamics, not just for me, but for my entire family have become so very pure, raw and sensitive. I observe these relationships from a multidimensional perspective. I can see their meaning more clearly as well as their design. Each and every family member has a very distinct personality, that personality works with each and every other family member in a very unique manner. A part of me was so extremely touched to realize how perfect we all are together, in our imperfections. In spite of much distance, alienation and misunderstanding there is a very distinct organization back of it all.
I knew deeply last night that something was happening beyond the physical understanding. Choices had been made at a soul level, for the group. When we incarnate here with our family members, we choose these relationships in service of the realization of love. Whether you come from a family that is perfectly connected, supportive and loving or one that is imperfect, difficult and misunderstood, you are still expressing just one reality through the family dynamics and that is love, service to the ONENESS of the family unit.
This love is a connector at a SOUL level and it is the ultimate catalyst for the soul to understand what exactly it is. As our loved ones make conscious or unconscious decisions at a soul level (about the personality, about a life event or about the time of physical departure), we can be caused great pain, suffering and distress. As my family unit slowly starts to become stripped from me, I open myself in greater ways through the dissipation of physical relationships. I am slowly understanding that the experience of these relationships is the most powerful part of our existence as a whole. It is the ultimate understanding of your true identity and the meaning of life.
As my family and I bow to the movement of time, and release life from our control, we are liberated into an inexplicable love. A unification that is so deep, I don’t feel it is part of anything we are dealing with at a surface level. As we cry separately or together, we are crying out of love and for love. We break open to a force that cannot be touched at this physical level, as we are not physical beings forever. At a soul level we are not crying. We just are. The crying is the realization that we exist in and as love and life is just the passing of our consciousness in, out and through this “allness” of all that is: love.