Freedom and the Monkey

nicaraguaWhat is being sought, cannot be gotten. This is devastating news for the seeker. The seeker will not want to accept this. This is because that which the seeker is, is just a thought, existing in an illusion of time. You don’t actually exist. There is only existence. Nothingness appearing as everything.

Mostly everyone is fretting. They are worried about being left by their lovers and being alone, not living their dreams or fulfilling a meaningful life, not having enough money for their freedom. You’ll never make it. You’ll never get the freedom, the love and the peace that you’re after.

This is not a hopeless message. It is not pessimism. This is talking about death. This is talking about dissolution and loss. This is talking about the mystery of the creativity of life. The unknown. This is talking about something that can’t be gotten.

When we’re born, our parents give us a name. We then begin to explore our desires and our resistance. We develop preferences. We learn to communicate. We become socialized. We develop the concept of a self. Someone who has something to do, somewhere to get to, something to have. We design our whole lives around this identity. We cultivate ideas of being a good person, an entertaining person, a creative person, an intelligent person, a peaceful person, a loved person. Yet, universally the belief is that we are not enough.

This belief exists in everything, everyone that has ever developed the concept of a self, of someone existing in time. Someone that will live a certain amount of years, and must make their lives worthy. Someone that has something to prove. That they’re enough. Someone who must make life meaningful. Someone that must make the most of it. They try to fulfill a void to find completion, yet the whole time the real completion is the void.

The whole time – life was just existing. Free. It never needed you or your concept of self to be free. To the person, this realization might be devastating. “What!? I’m important. I’m valuable.” Life never needed to be legitimized, improved, justified. Life was always just happening inside of you. Free. You had no choice in this. Life chose this. It chose the seeing, the speaking, the expressing, the heart beating, the thoughts arising, the skin feeling, the blood coursing through the veins. It chose to express as you, for itself, just because it could. Because it is creative.

Yesterday, I walked over to the pool in a beautiful yoga resort, where my boyfriend and I are working in Nicaragua. There was a young lady there holding a dying, baby monkey. Her partner and her had gone for a walk and found it on the ground. She said they watched the baby loose consciousness and fall out of the tree. This is happening a lot out here because of the terrible drought we’re in. She was nursing this baby monkey with sugar water. It had a teeny heartbeat. It’s eyes would flutter open for just a moment, her tail was curled, her knees were bent, she wrapped her perfect human-like hands around the girl’s finger. She was dying. I watched it fainting, dying. Maybe it will live.

This monkey was consciousness existing in that particular form. I was watching life choose to drift away from it’s form. It was incredible to me that consciousness could be alive at all. Jumping in treetops, eating bananas, playing with her monkey friends. This was death happening to the human. But life, was watching life happen. Life has no preference where it goes or what it does. It can only experience excitement, sadness, life or death for the sake of existing. This is quite a beautiful message. What it’s saying is that life is happening. This happening is miraculous. It is the fulfillment, the freedom, the love, the peace that the separate self is seeking, it is just the pure recognition of what it truly is, not what it thinks itself to be – a human, or a monkey….that lives in time.

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