You are not having an experience of consciousness, or awareness. Awareness is having an experience of you. This one life was always the one choosing, experiencing. To seek union is to still believe that you are a “you” and not life happening. This is about making a total shift. An inversion of what you believe yourself to be. This is about awareness completely and fully dissolving its identification as a “you.”
“You” cannot do this. You are just an experience. You do not exist. Only life happening exists. The “you” that is after self-realization, romance, wealth, material satisfaction; the you that is trying to figure out the drama of your life, will never, ever make it. You will never get there. You’ll never make it home. This is because this “you” energy, believes that it is incomplete or separate. This energy will never make it to peace, or to love. It is only peace and love that can make it, because only peace and love exists. This has absolutely nothing to do with you. This is about a “you” disappearing.
Most people will be too afraid to let go and die and will never have this deep of a level of awakening. They will feel feelings or think positive thoughts, chasing their pleasure and believing that that it is those feelings or thoughts that are it – that it is these feelings and these thoughts that are home. But they are just appearances, no different from the clouds or rain.
It is a complete and total void that is being sought. Utter emptiness. It was always the complete opposite of what you thought you were after. The seeker is looking for the fulfillment of life, but it is the seeker’s death that it was only ever after. It was total emptiness that would have brought you home to love and to peace. Most people are too afraid to let go, to stop seeking. The search for pleasure, the chase, the getting somewhere, looking for something, somewhere to get to keeps the person energy alive. On to the next thing, the next experience. And this whole time the love that’s appearing in the tea cup, the fly on the wall, the shifting of the light in the room – is missed.
The very energy of the seeker that the human believes itself to be is the suffering, the separateness. This separateness gives the appearance of seeking pleasure, but it is only ever seeking to die. It was never death that it was afraid of, it was the thoughts about itself. Once it dissolves – there is only life happening. It is ordinary. It is simple. It is empty. It’s everything.