Life is impersonal. The choices others make and the way you feel about them has nothing to do with what is right and what is wrong. Everything that is happening, no matter how unpleasant it appears, appears in freedom. It has no preference for your desire of whether or not it should appear. The law of attraction won’t save you from feeling life. Horrible things might happen to you. There may be extreme injustice in your life, betrayal, overwhelming fear, disgust and grief. These painful feelings will manifest in physical sensations, tightness, pain, bloating, shakiness. This is undoubtedly an unpleasant experience.
You have no control over these reactions. Most people will read that and want to disagree. I don’t blame you. Feeling like you can avoid pain is a good feeling. To suppress and deny pain is to deny life it’s freedom. The personal self will claim this energy of pain and believe that it had a choice in how it appeared or manifested. Others will take offense to your pain. They will wish you were more understanding and spiritual. They won’t want to be with your painful emotions, because they can’t stand their own. Their story of what they believe will keep them safe, deserving, supported and loved will dictate how they react to your behaviors.
Here’s the truth: you will feel terrible things in this life. You will also feel extraordinary things. Don’t take these feelings for granted. Be with them. Fall in love with them. Go into them with extreme intimacy. You will be tempted to suppress, justify, ignore and run from this pain. Dance with it. Let it move through you however it needs to.
Last night after an extreme emotional disturbance, I put on a show on Netflix called the Wild Arctic. The documentary followed multiple animal species throughout the arctic as they adapted to the coming of Spring. There was a wild arctic caterpillar that lives for 14 years. It freezes after the short spring, and every winter it dies. Once it reaches 14 years of age it creates a cocoon and transforms into a moth. This is it’s cycle. It has to die and it did not choose these brutal conditions that life gave it and to which it must bow to. It adapts, unifies and becomes them. There were also walrus seals. The two most powerful males enter into a drastic courtship, fighting a brutal and bloody war to retain dominance. This is impersonal. Their violence is for the proliferation of a superior gene in the propagation of the species. My favorite part of this show was the penguins. They prepare for spring by building nests with loose pebbles. One penguin was so hardworking. She would bring these heavy rocks and create her beautiful nest, but a thief was lurking near by. This thief penguin would wait until she left the nest that the hardworking penguin was building and would steal her rocks for his own nest. The hard worker penguin knew something was up and eventually caught the thief red handed and the two squabbled and life moved on.
Life is impersonal. It is instinctual, spontaneous it does what it needs to do and it feels what it needs to feel whether you like it or not. You do not have a choice here. In a way you can choose to let life in, or you can shut it down. But this choice can only appear once you recognize the truth of what’s really, at the heart of the matter happening. Either way it doesn’t matter. You are just a thought and what’s happening is happening to itself, for itself and by itself in total and utter love. The feelings are moving. They’re on their way out to make room for other feelings. But this is the human experience. Don’t miss a moment of it’s beauty.