The End of The “I” That Is Not Loved
Are you struggling in one particular aspect or story of your life? This is because you believe you will get love from it.
Ultimately, you may have a “mental breakdown”.
Let’s hope you do!
You have an idealized picture in your mind of how the relationship, job, physical health or beauty will give you the love that you don’t believe you have.
You believe that when you finally get to this picture, it will result in the wiping away of the ultimate human wound:
I am not loved.
Because that belief is so powerful, it will take center stage, life will become consumed with that story and it will begin to cause terrible problems. I am not love, or I am not loved, is also a collective karmic burden and strong, especially in the United States. That’s why there’s often the desire to leave the country or change location in order to attempt to resolve this belief.
Yes, beliefs are very powerful. Naturally when the energy of the belief stops going into the thing that it’s projecting into – a family, career or relationship, through a breakup or a loss, it will in fact, temporarily cease until it picks momentum back up again and re-establishes itself on to something else. These are the intricate tricks of the mind. At this point, the scenario is demanding 100% of one’s attention because the pain is extreme.
Number one, a job, career or stable family and relationship unit cannot be established because that requires both clarity and sanity.
Number two, a solid relationship cannot be established because the burden to bear on the mirror is too significant.
Number three, powerlessness and depression become a block.
Next is an act of grace, clarity in the middle of the night, the realization that one must let go of the belief and the energy that accompanies it.
In fact, the mind must stop feeding the belief and the story, it must run out of steam and stop looking for fuel. The mind only ever is, in fact, finding that which it is looking for.
The first step in any significant shift or change is awareness.
The mind uses dreams, like electronics, and other distractions to try and dumb down and hide from its belief. It begins to construct an image of itself that it is lovable it attempts to be more beautiful, or whatever it assigns the most meaning to, and it will then use it. But it is the mind that is constructing this. Therefore, it has no actual solid, lasting and true foundation.
Interestingly, the mind cannot ever love itself because it is the very antithesis of love. It is the thing that created the problem of the belief that “I am not loved” in the first place!
The idea that one is not love stems from duality, the object that loves and the subject that is loved. The real error of belief, then, is the one of duality. Duality is the greatest problem of the mind. The question to be explored is actually:
Is it characteristics, words, behaviors, the past or the future?
Those are temporal, they come and they go, for instance, right now, where is the rage?
Duality means good and bad, pain and pleasure, both of which come and go and cannot be permanent.
It is the energy that claims the “I”:
I acted, I am not loved, I am responsible for fixing this.
That energy is the actual problem and not the belief that “I am not loved”.
That I is separate, that I is dualistic, that I is the mind. It is causing ALL of the problems.
Thought is the byproduct of an “I” belief, of a belief in the “I”.
Who has a belief?
Where is this I?
Again, this feedback loop begins in the I.
Am I the behavior of the past? Is I what it desires? Is I what it has? Is I the thoughts?
Who is this I?
This question has no answer. “I” has no actual or real identity. Therefore, it never actually dissolves because it was not there in the first place. You can see from this investigation that the initial problem, had a million places to go: the job, the kid, the money, the house, the parents, the relationship, the behavior, the clients, the house, the location, health, health insurance and so forth. It can actually never pin down the source of its problem
The mind is looking for the source of its suffering, trying to pin it down and say “Look! Aha, I got you!” But it fails; it fails because it itself is the problem. Therefore all that can be done is the shift in perception from the “I” to no “I” or the one “I”, the eye that is not two.
If the “I” is not two and it is one, it cannot go anywhere because where will it go?
It’s chasing itself and never realized that it’s the whole damn problem.
It’s very difficult to let go of identifying with all the insanity of the mind because that’s been the primary experience for so long. Not only that, but others seem to relate to that experience. “If I stop being insane. Who will I relate to?” That is another trick of the mind.
In actuality, the mind, never actually related to anyone. It couldn’t because all it ever saw was the lie of two, the lie of separation.
This is a calling to completely end separation because that “I” is a total dead end. It only goes around in circles and has nowhere to go. Ever. It thinks it can lose something, but it never actually had anything but thoughts, its own crazy and insane suffering is all that it ever had. To let go or stop suffering means to stop propagating any and all ideas of the imaginary.
It means opting out of the “I” completely. This is easy to do, once the “I” is clearly seen as the root of all suffering. Ironically, it’s the return to silence which was the first taste of true divine love in the first place and therefore “I am not loved” has no place here.
One of the most important contributions of this investigation is one’s own freedom but also the freedom that is given to others. When you act from no mind, all other mental activity around you will stop because it will have nowhere to land.Posted on: December 1, 2019, by : kate