January 6, 2016

The “Me” Energy

reflectionWhatever is happening, is happening. It makes no difference if there is thoughts about it or not, but the energy which is always resistant to what is happening, is suffering. Suffering happens when the thought of a “you” arises. This you energy is doing one of two things: it is holding on to a past or it is holding on to a future. It completely misses what’s happening, which is aliveness happening to itself. Life is expressing itself for no reason whatsoever – for no one. This expression which is and isn’t form, is all one energy moving for no reason . It has no idea whether it’s good or bad. It is the one choosing what’s happening to itself. It is happening to itself. The suffering energy is occurring, because the thinker is identifying with what’s happening as something that is happening to itself and not to all of life, and as all of life. There is a belief that one is the”doer” someone separate that has free will. “How could I let this happen?” “I can’t believe he did that to me.”

The separate self continues to worry and to freak out, “What if I don’t get what I want?”, “What if something bad happens?” This whole time the separate self is just trying to acquire completion or peace and liberation from itself. It is hungry for the recognition of pureness. In comparison to the person energy, an animal will always behold the perfect expression of innocence and pureness and it’s exactly why we’re drawn to nature, in an attempt at resolving and recognizing our wholeness. There’s nothing wrong with this, because that’s what’s happening. However, when an “I” arises and comes forward as this “me” energy trying to possess pureness in form, it pollutes it’s own wholeness in a sense (which is impossible, I’m just trying to describe separation) because it doesn’t recognize what is. The separate self now has possession in mind, versus just the mere beingness, of and as pureness.

The “me” energy wants everything for itself. It want to give the mind body mechanism pleasure or it wants to avoid pain. So this survivalist energy goes to extreme measures out of incompleteness and it tries to resolve the ailment of separation through the seeker which lives in time (past or future). The separate self is a control freak – it wants to know and possess everything. It is never content with what is. It conjures up an idea of what peace and love feels like, because it is not aware of what is, and then goes to extreme efforts of acquisition in order to fulfill it’s separateness, which can never and will never be filled by form. Nonetheless it will continue to chase and acquire form after form and becomes exhausted, stressed, anxious: “I want them to like me.” “I hope she never leaves me.” “I have to get their approval.” and so forth. It will never, ever get there. It will never make it to peace and to love because it is an energy that is resistant to what is happening. The peace and the love of all of life exists in whatever is happening: the raindrops, the footsteps, the bugs, the echoes of conversation, the clearing of the throat, the thoughts appearing, the tea being drunk…

The peace and love which is everything and nothing, exists for and as everything but also for and as nothing. It exists as aliveness purely to express it’s will to live. It desires to be expressed as separateness, because it can never be separate. It wants to express and experience what it can never be. The body is and always was just a shell, just like the wall or the chair in the room I’m writing in. That which is is making it move, be held together express as self-awareness is all of life. It is what’s writing this, it is what’s reading it. What’s happening is always unified by existence, by life happening to itself.

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