This week is ending for me on a strong note. After implementing drastic changes to support powerful shifts, I started experiencing a stream of seemingly bad events. As I went in for my last day at the office, ironically on Valentine’s day, I dropped my cell phone on the street and broke the entire screen. The next day as I walked through the parking lot to my car, I stopped, trying to remember where I parked. It turns out that someone scratched my entire side door, so I couldn’t even recognize my vehicle with all the scratches. Typically, I’m really good about just brushing “things” off, but I found myself driving away in the car beginning to feel annoyed. I started thinking to myself a stream of thoughts that went something like this, “I do everything I know is right, I’ve completely given up all my fears and attachments, why do I continue to be tested with these things? Do you want me to give everything up??” I vented sorrowfully to the universe.

Soon enough, I realized what had happened. In the past few days I’ve  begun to make a major shift from love to fear. Love is owning your life, fear is letting life own you. After realizing that meeting my fears has given me a sort of high or even a rebirthing, I’ve been more inclined than ever to do things outside of my comfort zone and fear factor, because I honestly realized how powerful I am. I don’t feel afraid of letting things go, loosing them, reinventing myself, not having an identity, not needing to be acknowledged. I’m so happy just quietly and steadily working on my goals with no need for anything but carrying out the very important work I have at hand, “Letters Healing Poverty.” “So, what happened?” I thought? How did I all of the sudden move from love to fear?

The most important thing I realized is, that it’s totally OK. I’m human. I’m not perfect-far from it actually 😉 Even though I break things, make mistakes, say things I sometimes regret and loose my temper over little things I reflect upon my behaviors, I question myself and I try and understand what I’m doing and why (a very important analysis to posit over in any endeavor). Most importantly, today, I realized as I drove my scratched up car away, that my fear had a very loud message for me: I was starting to make the shift into powerlessness. I began to feel like things were happening outside of my control. I relented to the ownership of my life, by stating subconsciously to myself through my annoyance that “I do not create my own reality”. “Wait a second”, I realized. “This is bull shit!” Of course I create my reality! Of course I own my life and I choose, based on what I believe in, how and what I experience in my life. The broken screen was a break in my thinking, the scratches all over my car, were scratches across the surface of the one true reality. I began to feel so empowered with my realization as soon as I acknowledged that my one creative power is impersonal and it will do whatever I tell it to: good or bad.

I share this story to remind everyone how extremely important it is for all of us to watch our thoughts. We house so many subconscious programming based in fear ( FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL) that the minute things start going awry in our life we have to ask ourselves how we’ve created the disorder, versus looking for something to blame like “The universe is teaching me a lesson” or “People are such bad drivers” etc. Most likely you will realize that thoughts of lack, insufficiency, need, powerlessness, loneliness and so forth have crept into your thinking. Sure, you may be using affirmations and telling yourself things like, “I am enough”, “I am abundant” and whatever else you are, but unless you FEEL that and KNOW that you are with your whole being, be prepared for a couple breaks and scratches!