The result is that it’s energy is singlehandedly focused on getting.
Getting a better house, a better car, a better partner, better skin, better conditions, better bank account balance, better environment.
The problem is that the energy intends to acquire these betterments, because it believes the result will be a feeling of peace or satiation. Obviously, this doesn’t happen. Form can never fulfill the sense of separateness or lack with peace.
It must be recognized that seeking is occurring and that it ultimately results in loss. What can be had, can also be lost.
Therefore, what the energy really wants is to find it’s way back home. It wants to find that which can never be lost.
Home is a return to itself. The energy wants to return to itself. It wants to pack it’s bags up from the external world, turn within and come home.
Only when it’s true home is found, will the energy then be able to return back into the world of form. Yet, this time when it returns it has significantly shifted. It is no longer concentrated in thought, rather it has relaxed into that which thought appears in, that which is watching thought.
You are watching your thoughts. But they are not your thoughts, they are thoughts appearing in what you are.
Once it is seen that you are that which is watching your thoughts, your thoughts no longer are making your decisions. Thoughts become a non distant backdrop and are no longer the primary interest of awareness. In fact, awareness has greatly expanded because it is no longer being focused into thought. Awareness is no longer seeing the world through the narration of thoughts. It is seeing the wold, for the first time, as it really is.
This initial loss of control can be very frightening for people who have this experience. Whether you realize it or not, your thoughts are how you remain in control of your life. What happens is that you realize that not only are you not in control, but you were never in control. This process is what I’m going to refer to as the deconstruction of the ego, or the perpetual dropping away of conditioning.
This is a disorienting and uncomfortable period. More so if identification is stronger in a particular mind-body mechanism.
My advice is that this should be endured. What is occurring is important. The body is, layer by layer, letting go of that which has been obstructing it’s authentic, unique expression. While this disorientation can take years, ultimately, if you’ve had a true awakening, you will notice there is an underlying peace and trust during this period regardless of the static and chaos of the mind. The mind is loosing it’s grip, it’s loosing control.
What does this mean?
As I mentioned, at some point you will once again be beckoned out into the world. Yet, the world as you once knew it has ended. You are no longer able to function under false premise. Everything you are: the good, the bad, the ugly is now apparent and transparent. There is no longer an energy attempting to find cover. That which once had power over you – the fear of your partner leaving you, the fear of job loss, an obsession with passions, passions in general, have shifted. Everything has become more simple, more ordinary, more basic.
And this, my friends, is the most beautiful part of this message: that, now, this moment, this simple, ordinary moment of you drinking tea, stopping to say hello to a chatty neighbor, driving on a freeway, waiting in line at the grocery store – this moment is beautiful, it’s miraculous and it’s enough.
That is your gift from an awakening. Yet, it is not your gift, it just the falling back in to things as they really truly are.