“Love” as a concept has diverged from it’s true meaning. What once was the very need to bring into existence a state of something beyond us or greater than us, has now become a narcissistic need to feel wanted, needed and served. Love is always the giver-it knows not of receiving, for it knows that in giving it has already received. It is self-sacrificing, releasing it’s need for protection and safety, it freely risks all it has in the blind faith of a greater and higher good. My post today will not be on the True form of love, but rather on the idea that humans “fall in love.” I’ve realized that humans are susceptible to their own illusions, more than they are to any other concept-even the idea that there’s something out there for them that they don’t know of yet. What I mean by that is that our idea of “love” might be limited by our own understanding of what it is. We can only understand it in as much as we know what feels good and what doesn’t feel good. But what about all the “potential” beyond us that might feel better?
Instead of risking our own idea of greatness for something even bigger, we latch on to our concept of what we think we want. Do we ever stop to consider that maybe what we want isn’t the greatest possibility? What if what the universe wants for us is so much greater? So we mourn for our losses, get attached to our ideas, resist anything that is not our idea of “good.” We do great harm to ourselves here. Most importantly in our illusionistic, dream-like reality of falling in-love we begin to believe that we need another person to exist fully! We create a future in our minds based on this partnership, we conquer our loneliness and give rise to something, which at the time, seems greater-our imagination of a better future than the present. An evolution from the now. We project onto another our perfect self, our own potential. This self needs validation to exist. This self becomes “real” at some point in the future. We escape with love and allow it to take us on this great journey, after which we return “home” we’re disillusioned from it.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with this. We dream and believe in our imagination to survive. It feeds our creativity (our ability to be a creator), gives us hope and motivation and puts bandaids over our wounds so that we don’t have to face pain. Dreams are not illusions. Dreams make way for illusions to enter. Eventually, to be disillusioned is to be true to yourself. To wake up from something you thought would work but didn’t, allows you to re-examine who you really are. Who are you without your family? Your job? Your friends? Your diet? Your hobbies and so forth? What is it within you that brings you hope. It’s not a thing, activity or experience. It’s a feeling.
After waking up this morning I could hear sparrows singing in the trees. They weren’t just chirping, they were singing. It was so beautiful that I couldn’t believe how incredibly lucky I was to wake up to such magnificence. They welcomed the day with such joy as the sun rose and their joy, unbeknownst to them, brought me an even greater joy! That’s the feeling we’re talking about here. This feeling is the reason that you’re alive. It cannot be held on to. It is spontaneous. It is the inspiration behind everything you do. That is the feeling that we’re looking for in every relationship, the feeling that motivates us and propells us into an idea of a possibility. It is the reason we listen to beautiful music, appreciate art, read inspiring books and listen to incredible people. This “feeling” is the essence of who you are. It comes from you. It lives in you. This ingenious universe has just happened to make it so, that we fall in love to get a taste of this “essence” or “beingness”, but if you’re consciously seeking it outside of yourself, you will be disillusioned. Inspiration is a resonance with a feeling and the ability to act on that feeling, which then creates an experience-like a relationship. In sum, that is why we fall in love. I didn’t know if it was possible to fall in love more than once, but new hope springs forth from the tree tops this morning for I am in love!