Hello to all of my friends on Spiritual Shifts. I thought I would write an update, especially for the community members that have been with Spiritual Shifts for so many years.
Well, here we all are. Here we find ourselves, gone through so many life experiences – all of us. Yet, the same still crystalline awareness animates it all. Have you all gone through the dark night of the soul? Do you now know what it’s like to look for a path in the underground tunnels of your Being? Have you emerged with the greatest treasure of all – this not knowing? Have you plunged deep enough into your greatest fears, and followed enough of your images and stories, and thoughts to say, “Enough. I’m so tired. I can’t do this anymore.” Yes, we all have. You’re not alone.
As you know I have not posted a video since November. I gave birth to Alexander on Dec. 2nd, and he demands all of what little energy I have left. We do not hike yet, he is almost 17 pounds (I’m guessing). He’s a big boy. He loves to play and be outdoors. The desert is slowly heating up. I have missed wildflower season this year. But my soul is blooming…so slowly, but it is.
I can’t say being pregnant, giving birth, and having my child has changed me. What I am is so extremely vast, and open and empty; it is not changeable. As many intense experiences that have moved through the body, charged the system, been diffused, they have not touched or moved the essence of my Being. And that is the truth.
However, shadow work is relentless and also very beautiful. I enjoy it immensely, as painful as it can sometimes be. I have learned how to let these high charged energies move through my body. By energies I mean emotions, for that is what energy is while in body. For those of you that still fear, and run and hide – please know that this is happening in your nervous system. It is not always simply “what is” it is a traumatized energetic response originating from universal origin and not personal. When the body registers intense emotions like hatred, grief, fear, entrapment, betrayal, unworthiness and so forth, all the super charged and traumatized nervous system knows is fight, flight, or freeze. It is your job to find a hospitable and safe place to have these experiences. That is all you can do. For me personally that is journaling, nature, meditation, hypnosis, parts work, shamanism, and also energy work. Most especially communication. Speaking directly to the energy through the eyes of God. There are many methods, many ways. If you had a strong container as a child, and your nervous system learned parasympathetic responses to contain volatile energy, you are one of the lucky ones. Consider yourself blessed. For the rest of us, we must deeply merge with our feminine aspect of surrender; we must soften, find safety, love, compassion, and grace.
I also want to say that in an awake consciousness, there is no choice in the matter of seeking Truth. What is, must be seen and experienced in it’s ruthless honesty, and ultimately reclaimed by your True Being. Continue on your path and do not cease your commitment to looking deeply and thoroughly at the contents of your life. The reclamation process is indeed long and narrow, and tiring and dark. But it is the path you have chosen and you cannot turn back now, so press on.
I would like to say so much m ore, but my baby is up from his nap. Be well, wherever you are. I love you and see you soon.
Kate