The Personal Self
What the personal self does in order to split itself into two or duality, is that it super imposes a story onto an appearance. For example, the health story is that one is unhealthy because of its diet, genetics, environment, or the nice house story is that one is stable and well-off, or the relationship story is that one is not loved…etc.
When an appearance that triggers the “me” story arises, the seeking energy begins, and naturally brings up the traumatic (or elated) images of the mind, and of course the appropriate mental, physical and emotional responses. The “me” then engages in behaviors to gain pleasure and avoid pain, in order to continue maintaining its illusory sense of self.
Duality is always appearing within the confines of the “me” and its story.
“ME” must “GET” PLEASURE” or “AVOID PAIN” by “DOING” or “NOT DOING” something in the story, in time.
In this set up, all decisions of success or failure are 100% dependent and reliant on the separate entity of the “me”. The entire set up is not only exhausting, painful and subject to suffering, but it is also avoiding its behavior by running away into distractions, whatever they may be : causing drama, online shopping, watching Netflix, overeating, incessant travel, gaming, drugs and alcohol, changing jobs, partners and locations etc.
The entire set up described above is designed for the purpose of the separate me to create a false sense of self-importance. As long as it gets and experiences pleasure and succeeds at avoiding pain, it believes that it will be loved, beautiful, successful, rich, safe, secure and happy.
The truth is, that even if it does create this inflated sense of beauty, security, abundance or love, its creation will always be totally fragile, and accordingly, so will it’s set up or whatever means it used to get to its false and illusory, new sense of self.
Because this foundation is so fragile, and subject to the shifting world of form (events, thoughts, beliefs, moods, circumstances etc), it will then completely exhaust itself to try to MAINTAIN what it is it has created, because it is continually operating on the verge of fear that it will “LOOSE” what its “GOTTEN”.
The personal self, which is this dynamic that I’ve described above, can never find true freedom. On some level it already knows this, it knows that it’s very nature is seeking, which is unfulfillment itself, and it is therefore ridden with grief, hopelessness or depression.
The leap one must take is the abandonment of its world, which it is using for its seeking, and also the abandonment of its own unfulfilling nature, which is its very self.
In this (also apparent and illusory choice or action of abandonment) the hope is that it will find that which cannot be abandoned, which is the Self, God, Being, awareness or THIS.
THIS has always been here in plain sight. It has always been the home to the personal self and all its shenanigans that are subject to the world of creation and destruction. Yet, THIS, has neither been created or destroyed. It has always been, it has never left, always vibrantly, generously and vividly available as everything, yet simultaneously nothing.
So, in a way this apparent abandonment process never happened, nor did it ever NEED to happen, because it changed nothing in terms of the eternal THIS (the clock ticking, the words appearing ,the bodily functions, the knock on the door, the urge to make coffee…etc).
As long as the separate self exists, it will be looking for fulfillment in the building of sand castles and paper planes. And as soon as the first wave or gust of wind comes, its illusory fulfillment disappears along with it. And THE TRUTH IS…this actually isn’t the problem…
It was never the problem…
The entire appearance is illusory, so how could the building of the sand castles be the problem?
What is, whatever that may be, is always here. So, how could it be the problem?
The mind is so lost in itself, in its stories, and in all of it’s thinking that all it can see is its own problems and unfulfillment.
That which is, doesn’t change.
The apparent personal self created this cloudy, problem ridden sky that totally eclipses the eternal light and clarity that’s always there – abiding.
With the simple cutting off, of these shifting moods, thoughts, stories and problems, even for just a moment, WHAT IS (the knee pain, the heat from the fireplace, the thoughts about the lover, the call from the brother or friend), appears as the ordinary being. There is relief here, since temporarily seeking stops. Yet, the eternal sky is unaffected by this relief, because of course, the change is happening in the formations of the clouds (thoughts and beliefs), thunderstorms (moods), rainstorms (stories of being liberated) and even rainbows (finally – enlightenment!) and shooting stars. This whole phenomena of the dream is simply happening, and being watched…by no one.
What is happening, is happening. Non-duality can’t change it, spirituality can, but not non duality. Spirituality can build a new sand castle, create a rainbow in the sky…but these are all, the whole thing, is temporary and fleeting. Have at it! But, the Truth, WHAT IS, is eternal and does not change.
Even this realization, can appear to give relief and put a temporary end to the me, but that too is fleeting, and is therefore temporary and unreal.
That which is does not change.
So, therefore, if your realization is a BIG BANG , it is part of the illusions appearing in the big vast, open, shifting sky of your being, the Self, that which IS, what is, is totally ordinary, subtle, quiet and simple – IT IS WHAT IS, not the Big Bang that the mind, the personal self, is hoping for…
The recognition of what is (apparently) always proves to be energizing, because so much energy and thought is being usurped into the creation of the illusion and the maintenance of the personal self and the personal world.
This isn’t necessarily about doing or not doing anything for the personal self in the story. That part is automatic. On a personal level, fixing the issues or apparent problems will or will not happen, yet to see through the personal and into the heart of reality means to see things as they are.
It is only ever about continually unveiling the light, what is (already unveiled and in the open), the essence, that’s illuminating and emanating, animating the dream. But this apparently happens, to non one.
There is no home, no job, no relationship, no path, no end goal. There is no you, no me. One has always, only ever, been nothing, and had nothing. Yet, in that, it is everything and therefore already has everything.